Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Enough Alone Time

Is it because I had so much company and out of town trips last Month that I feel so alone the past 2 weeks? Maybe. Because I just turned 24, I’d like to blame quarterlife crisis as well. Working for almost 6 years now, having 4 different jobs and living in 3 different places makes me think a lot about my life and the choices I have made and are making. And oh yes, my current job should take a lot of responsibility in why I’m feeling so alone. After all I do not exactly have an officemate and an actual office place. All I have is my computer and my cellular phone to aid me in my work.

The confusing part about trying to blame my work is I like my job, I really like it. The opportunity to work for my country by actively taking part in the combat against corruption has been one of my beautiful blessings. Even when I was still in college, I knew that I wanted my future job/s to be something that would help my country, whether directly or indirectly. My college friends tell me I’m nationalistic, and I am proud to be one. I love our country and I’d grab any chance to help in nation rebuilding.

But I guess every now and then, like these past few weeks, my being a people person gets back to me. I never saw myself being a researcher and spending most of my working hours inside a library – much more a Theology library! I love Theo and there are times when I see myself teaching Theo of Liberation on the side, but to consider a library of it as my workplace never really crossed my mind. I am a communication arts graduate afterall, I need all mediums available to send my views and messages across. You can’t exactly talk in a library – the silence can be deafening.

When I was still working for JVP Central Office, I used to take breather; all by myself walks every now and then. Formation and volunteer monitoring work can be toxic and walking around ADMU helped release some of the tensions at work. My walks took me to Gesu or to the caf, most of the time to the chapel to hear mass. I appreciated the alone time, the alone walks. I remember excusing myself from work to walk around because I needed it, I needed alone time so badly.

The past days though, I’ve been missing having officemates. I miss having someone to talk to about the TV show I was watching last night. I miss having someone to complain about work with. Boy do I miss the community singing with Ate Trina and Ate Crissy! I miss bringing food for workmates and having automatic lunchmates. I miss planning Friday or Saturday gimmicks with officemates. (Wait, I don’t think I really go out anymore. This new job just made social life doubly difficult. haha!) It’s no longer fun not having a workplace to go to from Mondays-Fridays. I do appreciate the no strict time in and time out, but I’d wake up early for a sure place to work in. I miss having a fax machine 4 steps away from my worktable and having unlimited internet access on the computer I’m using for work. For the most part, I think I just miss talking (hehehe). The past 6 months have been torture for a talkative person like me.

I just think I have had enough alone time, enough alone walks and trips to last me a lifetime. Okay, that’s an exaggeration, perhaps enough to last me a year or two.

Mountains and Beaches

March-April was a series of out of town trips-both for work and pleasure - Couldn’t complain about that

PARACELIS - We finally went back to Paracelis, Mt.Province last March17 to shoot the final leg of the Ehem! Video. Paracelis is such a hot municipality. Wish I could show you the sandal marks on my feet but because I’ve been traveling a lot lately, Paracelis cannot be blamed as the sole culprit for them. I also don’t have so much pictures since Kuya Chito (our videographer) hasn’t given me a copy of our pics yet. Trip was mainly for work but it was “byahe” nonetheless so it was a much appreciated trip.

Worth Mentioning – B, our Production Manager, fell off a pilapil on the way back from the falls we went to. It was such a scare! Good thing nothing major happened to her. It was a terrible thing to happen to someone especially if you have a crew who shows their love to you with their “pang-aalaska and panunukso.” Two weeks after though, B got one of the best news ever – she passed the bar!

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(one of the controversial irrigation sites in Paracelis)

VANISHING ISLAND- Meron pala nun sa Davao? I actually didn’t know we had one until my highschool friends, Ella and Jang invited me to go there. It was a good swim, snorkeling trip. Davao is such a tease! New beach to discover and fun time with old friends was a simple reminder why Davao will always be home.

Worth Mentioning – Riding the Philippine Navy’s speedboat is so cool! But I will never do it again, not when it entails going to their main camp and having the entire troop look at you and your friends. (Thought Balloon – ilang buwan kasi silang nasa barko lang, kelan kaya sila huling nakakita ng mga babae?)

PUNTA FUEGO, BATANGAS – April18-19 trip to Punta Fuego with beloved Kuya Gil,SJ was supposed to be postponed for the 24th. But summer class was about to begin and Kuya won’t be able to join us if the date will be moved so we had to push through. Barely 4hours in Manila (April17), I had to coordinate with Ate Maita to make sure we would go hit the beach the next day. I arrived at 9AM Monday, by 7AM the following day I was on my way out of Manila already. Talk about being such a “layas!”

Worth Mentioning – Kuya was all proud of the new arena goggles he got on Sale. In fairness, it was a good pair. Bagong bago and all… He left it on the shower of Terrazas de Punta Fuego though. This was after we reminded him twice to check the lockers. Tsktsktsk!! Pity naman si Kuya.

– Yes, finally! Ate Norie and I have always wantedto go to Sagada since I moved here in Manila 4 years ago. After much planning and coordination we finally found the perfect date and company to go to Sagada. Thea, Ate Ray, Ate Mayette, Ate Reg, Ate Trina, Ate Jerlie, Ate Norie and I left for Bontoc April 27, 830PM. Yippee! April 28-May1 was marked as the Sagada weekend. Sagada scenery was just breathtaking (yes, also because of the walks we had to do, hehehe).

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In one of my conversations with Ate Ray, during that arduous hike from the Big Falls, I told her I can’t really decide if I were a mountain person or a beach person. But I’m strongly leaning on being a mountain person. One reason I think is the color green which abound a good mountain area. Green is just so refreshing in the eyes. Another is the cool winds especially late in the afternoon and at night. Knowing that the wind is actually clean compared to the polluted air of the city is a bonus. Perhaps it’s the height too, being on top (not just because I’m so competitive and I like the feeling of being on top!). Being on higher ground gives me a wider perspective of what’s out there- what’s below. It’s an opportunity to see places, people and activities all at the same time. Being on top of a mountain just can’t take out the feeling of being closer to heaven -“yung parang nahahawakan mo na ang langit.” The serenity of a mountain’s peak gives the feeling of being closest to God.

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Worth Mentioning – I had my first taste of marijuana in Sagada and I didn’t even know it. Darn it! One of the restaurant’s we ate in had a Chef notorious for drugging people through pastries he bakes himself. So night before hitting the big falls all of us couldn’t sleep, had heavy heads and some even had weird dreams and hallucinations.

(sorry no pictures of the beaches yet, the infrared of my computer's busted)