quitting and career path

November 23 – From Fr. Rudy Fernandez, SJ – “Winners know when to quit to fight again another day or another place, when it’s time to let go here and/or now.”

I don’t know, but I refuse to believe him for some reason. A few life circumstances made me feel like such a loser after quitting. I don’t believe the word “quit” is appropriate for a winner, winners never quit. They perhaps rest, research some more, learn more how to fight the battle and eventually stand up from resting and continue the battle.

I am no winner in one of my personal fights. 3 weeks ago, I finally gave up on him. That’s it, no more trying, no more huge efforts, I give up! – There still is praying and a tinge of hope, but I think I’ve done my part. It hurts to finally lose the fight, India Arie couldn’t have said it any better – No one has the power to hurt you like your kin.

I pray and hope though that I may never find myself in the same position, deciding to finally quit and feel that I’ve done my part. I still have so much to learn and so much to do, not only for myself but for others as well. May I always just rest and eventually stand up again to continue each battle.

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Simply because I was tagged by Ate Mayette and I thought, why not answer - just for fun.5 Careers I thought I’d pursue when I was kid.

Computer Engineer – That’s what is written in my elementary (grade6) yearbook. I don’t think I even knew what a computer engineer does back then. I think I chose the career because it sounded “cool” and “difficult.” I sure am not a computer engineer right now. But I can trouble shoot few, minor, computer problems. If I can’t, my sis can and if my sis can’t, the computer engineer in SM North can.(hehehe)

Laundrywoman – “I want to be a Labandera.” I believe I uttered those words once in my life. When we were younger, my sisters would tease me that that was my real ambition. I don’t know, perhaps to a certain extent I idolized “Manang Emma,” my grandmother’s laundrywoman. Manang Emma took pride in her work and she was passionate in doing the laundry. I cannot say the same with how I did my laundry in Bukidnon in the 10 months that I lived there. No, I didn’t do my laundry with much pride and passion, I simply did because it was the hygienic thing to do… These days doing the laundry isn’t exactly one of my favorite chores, but I’d take it over dishwashing anytime.

Doctor – The idea of becoming a doctor at 23 excited me when I was in Grade 4. I remember that a good number of my classmates wanted to become a doctor as well (talk about peer pressure). I remember watching ER and truly wanting to become a doctor. But, I just can’t get myself to memorize so much. Those thick science books in high school and college just didn’t persuade me to pursue this dream.

Discovery Channel Traveler – sino bang may ayaw? Get real -- you travel, have fun, learn about the country’s culture, eat different types of food, host and you get paid to do all of that!! I don’t think I need to explain further, right? --- No, I am not and never was a discovery channel traveler but my previous (and current---sometimes lang) job has allowed me to travel. I get to see a lot of my country, the Philippines. (The Department of Tourism should hire me to host a local show here in our country. I’m telling you I’ll be so good at it.hahaha. Ang bilis ko pa man din matuto ng iba’t ibang dialect. Yabang eh?) My travel around the Philippines has deepened my sense of nationalism. It has taught me to appreciate our country even more. “Ang ganda-ganda talaga ng Pilipinas, who would want to leave such a great place” --- my usual line every time I go around the country. Yes the economy is bad, government is filled with dirty politicians, corruption has reached a cancer stage beyond stage 4 but there is so much more to be thankful for. There is so much more that can be done as well. Even when I go out of the country, I find a piece of the Philippines similar or even better than what I see. Actually, I don’t think I really should have explained so much about this dream job – what’s the name of the blog again?

Director (Film, Documentaries or Photography) – It’s hard to explain why, I just really want to become one. I’ve been taking pictures since I was 10 and it has evolved so much over the years. Did I mention I’m enlisted in UP MA in Film? Yeah, I am, but been AWOL for almost 3 years already and honestly I don’t see myself pursuing it. Honestly, I’m in a “dry stage” in terms of taking pictures and doing videography, for almost 2 years now. I don’t know, I once thought I was back, but I lost it easily. “Walang libog,” for some reason, you should have seen me in college until a year after JVP, that was passion at it’s finest... The MA I’m pretty sure I won’t pursue but being a director, now that’s a different story. My new work has asked me to be excited about doing documentaries again (and there might be an MTV too). I’m taking it one step at a time.

(pahabol, this last one I dreamt of when I was in HS. High School doesn’t exactly fall under the category of being a child, but hey I was just 11 then, pwede pa.)

Jesuit! – hahaha! If I were a boy, I probably entered the society (so I can own all the Ateneos,hehehe). I just couldn’t find one that’s really close to the Spirituality and lifestyle the society lives out. Cenacle is closest, but Thea doesn’t exactly recommend it, especially for me. I guess she knows me too well to know that I’d die if required to wear skirt and a cross all the time. Hahaha! Together with some former JVP girls, I am planning to establish a society with “Mateo Sanchez” as our guide. hehehe!