Pagninilay ng Batang Byahera

No Time to Keep This

2008-11-23T01:06:00.000+08:00

Sayang that I really can't find to keep this blog for now. To think I've done a bit of traveling this year. . .

I've said this earlier this year, but will reiterate - new home
at www.kangirl.multiply.com

CHRISTMAS GIFT IDEA!

2007-11-19T11:29:00.000+08:00

REPOSTING in case people forgot. :)

Here's a marvelous Christmas Gift Idea.

GIVE A GIFT THAT GIVES!

Apu Palamguwan Cultural Education Center (APC), a non-stock, non-profit organization working at the forefront of Culture-Based Curriculum Development in the Philippines would like to give you the opportunity to give something more this Holiday season. This holiday we are making gift giving Hassle Free!

For 250 pesos, you can donate in the name of your friend as your Christmas gift to him/her. Just give us the mailing address of your friend and we’ll take care of telling your friend of this wonderful Christmas present you gave. We’ll be sending him/her a Christmas Postcard identifying you as the giver of such. The said amount contributes to the supplies needed in the school and further supports the wider work toward culture-based curriculum development in the country.

Click on the picture for Full Size
Contact Us: kangsonza@apc.essc.org.ph/ admin@apc.essc.org.ph
http://apc.essc.org.ph

Running for more than 10 years, in 2004, APC was legally established gaining recognition from the Department of Education as the first formal indigenous people-based education. It is strongly committed toward supporting UNESCO’s mother tongue medium of instruction to improve the quality of education for the marginalized sector and promote cultural diversity. .

Furthermore, APC strengthens the implementation of culture-based education in Mindanao by partnering with education institutions to enhance the capacities of educators and education facilitators working with Indigenous children. At present, the school it is running up in Sitio Bendum, Bukidnon caters to over 100 students. APC also has about 20 high school and college scholars.

Thoughts in Lake Sebu

2007-11-09T16:25:00.000+08:00

• I’ve heard this many times before – Is this a recording? Seem to be the same story I’ve heard from different tribes. Similar issues, parallel concerns and almost the same level of hurt, pain and anger.

• Was reminded that it’s not (just) Pity that they need, it’s recognition and to be heard that they want. Reminded that they are not as shy and non-confrontational as most think they are. But we’ve set up systems that encourage them to be meek and submissive. Sadly, I too am guilty of that sometimes.

T'Boli kid Dances for us

• Thinking if there is a national leader who genuinely has their (IPs) concerns in the top 3-5 of his priority projects. (I’ve left Lake Sebu last November 1 and I haven’t thought of anyone yet).

• Come to think of it, do I still even have enough belief that we have a National Leader who has GENUINE concerns for anyone but himself? Um, I’m very cynical these days.

• My feeling is, Avenue Q’s “everybody’s a little bit racist” is also applicable to them. There’s a part of me that feels that despite my deep passion to work for and with them – despite the many years I have worked for their cause, they still haven’t considered me (and will never consider me) family as much as I have considered them as my family – because I don’t have a tribe and my roots are not of IPs but of Tagalogs and Kapampangans. But THAT”S OK.

• Reminded how I’ve been SERIOUSLY Brainwashed by JESUITS for quite some time now as I answered a question of how long have I known the Jesuits – um since I was 10 years old. Tsktsktsktsk.

• Some JESUITS I just can’t take as “real” priests (or studying to be priests) – would never go to confession to or ask them to be my SD – because they’re way too crazy and young (feeling young) that they are more of my buddies.

Fr. Jojo Fung, SJ (Malaysia) does one of his "serious" poses

Bro. Francis Lim, SJ - in a tourist pose

• My bowel movement hasn’t changed in years; I still can’t poop on the first 2 days in a new place (new toilet). Gosh I need to poop before we travel back to Davao because I feel quite bloated already.

PARDON my disgust

2007-10-26T12:09:00.000+08:00

Pardon my disgust over what just happened yesterday – the presidential pardon granted to Joseph Estrada just makes me want to puke.

I couldn’t bear watching Bunye make the official statement yesterday. And he even used the terms – “It was hard for the President, it was not an Easy Decision, She had to think of it really well.” I’m sorry but I don’t consider less than 3 days to make a decision on a presidential pardon a long period of time. It doesn’t show “thought of it well” to me.

The last few weeks/months have been terrible for my dear country. The bribery and scandal of the ZTE and CEP deals! The unexplained disbursements of the Office of the President discovered by COA! The bribery of Governors and Congress Representatives! And the recent bombing (explosion?) of Glorietta… And now this Pardon for former President Estada, 3 days after he asked for it?!! I seriously don’t know which among has been the worst for this country.

Was it all connected and part of a great conspiracy that was well planned? All the circumstances in a span of 2 months so that people will not have the ability to decide anymore which is worst; which among all of those should the people be truly be angry about and try to work on? Such a great scheme, an Evil, Evil plan.

I am so disgusted by how our supposed leaders have become such mere politicians incapable of genuine service and care for others. So that’s how evil looks like on television? That’s how “inhuman” speaks and dresses up? I wonder if I see some of them in person, anytime soon, I’ll Burn because of the heat of HELL that reeks from their pores?

Give a Gift that Gives!

2007-10-16T14:04:00.000+08:00

Apu Palamguwan Cultural Education Center (APC), a non-stock, non-profit organization working at the forefront of Culture-Based Curriculum Development in the Philippines would like to give you the opportunity to give something more this Holiday season.

This holiday we are making gift giving Hassle Free! Often we find ourselves stressed in finding the best presents for our family and friends. We flock the malls and specialty shops looking for material things related to our colleagues’ hobbies and interests. In the last minute, we rush and find ourselves in packed stores and long lines paying for the first thing we saw that would do as a gift. Avoid all of those and avail of APC’s Give a Gift that Gives project!

For 250 pesos, you can donate in the name of your friend as your Christmas gift to him/her. Just give us the mailing address of your friend and we’ll take care of telling your friend of this wonderful Christmas present you gave. We’ll be sending him/her a Christmas Postcard identifying you as the giver of such. The said amount contributes to the supplies needed in the school and further supports the wider work toward culture-based curriculum development in the country.

(click on the picture for full size)
CONTACT APC at (02) 920-9063
Email: admin@apc.essc.org.ph or kangsonza@apc.essc.org.ph

Running for more than 10 years, in 2004, APC was legally established gaining recognition from the Department of Education as the first formal indigenous people-based education. It is strongly committed toward supporting UNESCO’s mother tongue medium of instruction to improve the quality of education for the marginalized sector and promote cultural diversity. . Furthermore, APC strengthens the implementation of culture-based education in Mindanao by partnering with education institutions to enhance the capacities of educators and education facilitators working with Indigenous children.

At present, the school it is running up in Sitio Bendum, Bukidnon caters to over 100 students. APC also has about 20 high school and college scholars.

CMMA Nominee

2007-10-10T17:17:00.000+08:00

Bear with me.

Gotta brag a bit. Got nominated for Catholic Mass Media Awards. Who knows when I get to say I've (we've) been nominated. :) Awards night on October 25, 2007. Do I go? That is something to think about, because they have a strictly formal attire demand. Will I really wear a dress? Yikes!

Anyway, did this MTV while I was still working for Ehem! Anticorruption Program. Much credit is to be given to all who worked in the production of the entire documentary, not just the MTV. Fr. Albert had great, "pop" lyrics and sir Dodjie gave it a nice tune, easy to recall.

Visit this youtube link for the EHEMPLO MTV -

http://youtube.com/watch?v=kS9uwzlQYIg

Rode PAL

2007-09-25T22:17:00.000+08:00

I'm out on field work here in Malaybalay, Bukidnon. But I went via Davao and rode PAL. One of the perks of PAL is having free snacks on board. Decided to have tea because I felt cold, forgetting to bring a jacket and all.

This just brought smile to my face!

Wala ako masabi!Talaga lang ha. hehehe

2 Homes!

2007-08-29T09:41:00.000+08:00

I've actually been updating my multiply account, more than this blog, the last couple of months. I wanted to stay true to this blog, for it to be more of my travels (adventures and misadventures). Too bad the last couple of entries have been bad news. I hope to be able write a travel entry that's fun and good soon.

For friends who want to be updated more, my other home is at http://kangirl.multiply.com

But I'll still write here for byahe kwentos.

772.63 pesos (lost license)

2007-08-23T20:13:00.000+08:00

Do you see it?That's 3 Balloons! The entrance stamp at LTO Main Office in East Ave had 3 balloons. Seriously?! Seriously?! I mean, Seriously?!

How do they seriously expect me to give them a sense of respect and trust when they can't even atleast make a more formal stamp, simple letters L.T.O. would do you know?! But that's not the only reason why I'm screaming INEFFICIENT at them.

So I lost my license and was determined to finish getting a new one in an hour, an hour a half tops. Got to LTO P.Tuazon, Cubao at 820. Not much people yet, just as I expected. I pass my requirements at WIndow 2. After a few minutes, they call me and tell me there's no record of me in their system. I say - Impossibe, I've been renewing at Farmer's Cubao since my license first expired. Farmer's is not online til 10AM so that's most probably the reason why my record isn't showing. He says better to go to LTO Main at East Ave. Dang! But I go, coz it's too early to just wait for 10AM.

9ish i'm at LTO Main where I get the "balloon" stamp. I pass it at Window10 as instructed and was further asked to go inside the office and pass my forms to a certain Ms.Delay. I pass and wait..20mins, 30mins (ang tagal ha, there were only about 20people, what is taking so long), 40mins. I get called again..still No Freaking Record! Seriously?!

I go in, saying that's impossible, I've been driving for 7YEARS, Renewed my license 2x already. Ms.Delay (in a mataray way) tells me, "we don't have you on record.Two computers." "san ka ba originally nag apply?" I answer - "sa Davao po." She answers back - "Ah dun ka sa Davao humingi ng Records mo. Punta ka dun." Major Thought Balloon - ANAK KA NG TIPAKLONG! Nakapunta ka na bang Davao?! Di yun one MRT ride away gaya ng MAKATI! AT ANG TARAY MO HA, TADYAKAN KITA DYAN. But was calm, can you check with Davao, coz I'm pretty sure I have record? "Hindi, dun ka mag-apply kung gusto mo. Di ka pwedeng bigyan ng new record kasi may record ka na." I go out her office and whispered "Fuck!" I'm pretty sure she heard it, i hope she did, especially the very low "you" that followed after. I was really pissed already.

But I'm smart and promised myself last July I'll try to be positive amidst all failures. It's almost 10, i'm going to Farmer's and they better have my record! Or else! I arrive, true enough they actually have it. Diyos ko po! Let me Analyze this.. A small, mall-based LTO has my record, but the MAIN LTO doesn't have it? Can somebody Justify that to me? Seriously?!

And because LTO Farmer's didn't exactly feel I suffered enough it tells me I can't renew in the tricycle ride away LTO but back to P.Tuazon which is a cab away. Fine! Just so I finish this, fine!

I go back to P. Tuazon and I see the same guy on Window 2. I tell him - "Kuya walang record ang MAIN. sa Farmer's ko yan nakuha!" He smiles - "Ganun ba, baka nga kasi 10AM pa nago Online ang Farmer's." Putsa naman! I seriously wanted to squeeze myself inside the window to hit him. Thought Balloon - Hello?! MAIN LTO yun? Sila ang dependent sa Farmer's di ang smaller ones sa kanila? duh?!

1135 - I got my TEMP License, finally. I get the card in 90 days, I have to go back there in 90 days. Grrrr... Renewees get better service and they get their permanent license in minutes.I've never ridden so many cabs in 3 hours. And in that 3 hours I spent 772.63 pesos, 75% of which was spent on transportation alone. Damn! And balloons as entrance stamp?! Damn! No wonder my cousins and friends are migrating.

I’ll Have Bad Hair Day Instead

2007-08-02T19:50:00.000+08:00

515PM – I decide I’ll check on Margo, officemate next door, to ask her opinion if I should just go home because I feel I’m merely pretending to work. Her door’s locked, she already went home. I go to Mila, 4 doors away, she’s getting ready to go home. Everybody’s on their way home, I ought to go home myself.

530-545PM – Out in Katipunan, waiting for a cab. It’s drizzling a bit, I decide to walk from the overpass near National toward KFC looking for a cab. Luckily I get one. Wow, I’ll be home before the sun sets

555PM – I’m home! Key’s not in my pocket. I check my bag pockets, it’s not there. Shit! I’m realizing, I took it out earlier when I gave Sylvia her change for the lunch I bought for her. But no, it should be here, I think I threw it in my bag… It’s not there. Pencil case? – it’s not there; Coin purse-not there. I sit down on the doorstep, I check again. It’s still not there. Oh no! I was the last one who left the office and I don’t have office keys so that means I have to go to Margo or Sylvia.

610PM – Margo doesn’t have key to her office as well. Sylvia is at a friend’s house, must go to UP Village now. But first, my self pity gets in, I cry a few tears of sadness. I’m so tired. (If you’re a 90’s kid, think Carmina Villaroel super sad in that Jollibee ad). I was excited to get home early so I can unpack – I haven’t unpacked.

625ish – I walk slowly looking for a cab. Hard to find a cab. Found one, but refused to take me to UP Village. Found another, same thing. I continue to walk, almost 7 and I’m almost at Eastwood. I’m at eastwood. I call my sister Tetet, she’ll be on her way own shortly. I think I”ll just wait. That’ll mean waiting 1hour and a half.

710PM – I go around eastwood. Too bad “ratatouille” screening was at 6ish. Books at A Different Bookstore are too expensive. Found a gift for Loleng’s housewarming, it’ll match his kitchen. What do I do next?

740PM – I’ll just grab a bite at Pasto. I love their raspberry iced tea anyway, and it’s bottomless. Shit, their prices increased. This man in front of me looks so much like Tristan. Parallel to me is Jan Nieto of Philippine Idol – he wasn’t my bet it was Gian Magdangal.
- There’s a mirror infront of where I’m siting. Wow, PERFECT HAIR DAY! Even with all the walk and dust, my hair looks oh so perfect, straight out of a commercial ad… I’d Take Bad Hair Day any day if it’ll mean better travel day.

Driving is Therapy

2007-07-13T17:18:00.000+08:00

Been up and down Malaybalay and Cagayan de Oro.

I arrived on Weds, 730AM - had meetings from 10AM to 6PM. Decided I needed to be Malaybalay for the ritual the next day so I rode with Fr.Bogs to Malaybalay. I rode in his L200, at the back, in the company of sacks of rice and other supplies for Zamboanguita. It was a bumpy ride, since part of the road in Manolo Fortich was being fixed.

Yesterday, I attended the ritual for our organization's partnership with DepEd and NCIP. By 11AM I was on my way back to CdO for a 2PM meeting. I arrived at around 1PM, had my first meal of the day at 130PM. Meeting started on time. Meeting didn't go well, it was a finance meeting. It was a frustrating and exhausting meeting that almost made me want to go back to Malaybalay to rant at and with my officemates. But I had a meeting early the next day still in CdO, so it'll be suicide, physically.

Meeting today ended at around 1230PM. Ate lunch and bought Pizza for officemates and rode bus back to Mby at 130PM. Got in at 4PM.

How I wish I had my own car and just drove back to Malaybalay. I wanted to drive last night. I wanted a long drive that would allow to free mind and not think. I needed to drive. But I couldn't. I still can't. I need to drive, soon. A long drive.

Travel Light?

2007-07-09T23:07:00.000+08:00

I decided to prepare today, the clothes I am to bring for my field work beginning this Weds. It feels like I'm bringing so much stuff. I don't think it'll fit in my backpack alone. Must I really succumb to bringing one more bag? Have I lost the ability to travel light?

This can't be, I am one of the best packers in the world, I am a Mother Packer afterall, being a former APOVS and all.

This can't be. I must recheck my things to bring tomorrow before putting them inside my bag. I'm sure I can do a one bag trip.

What is not so supportive is the whole law against liquid handcarried stuff.I know it's for our safety but I mean all of us have some form of liquid to bring with us to our trip. They don't even allow toothpaste, everyone should have toothpaste. So one really has to check in something unlike before when I can just handcarry my huge backpack.

Oh well...

Toyota Keys Anyone

2007-06-26T21:21:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday, upon arriving home from overnight girl bonding at Jo(Maribojoc's) place with former officemates TQ and Trina my sister found these toyota keys. Actually, I think it wasn't until Monday morning that she really noticed them. Knocking on the CR door, asking me who did it belong to.

I honestly don't know where that key came from. Jo drives a Chevrolet and Trina drives an Isuzu, TQ doesn't drive although she's an excellent navigator. The only friend who has taken me home recently and drives a toyota is Loleng and the keys are usually in the ignition.

I've been having trouble getting a cab these past few days. I pity myself when that happens, when I have trouble getting a cab. I miss driving and having a car and not walking and waiting for a cab in the rain. Could this be God's answer to my prayers for a car? Because sometimes, when I get a little selfish, I really pray for a car or for money to get a car.

But God - I'd really want the Car with the Keys, Please!?

--- P.S. - friends i've been with last week, do tell me if you are missing you're spare keys.

Atulayan,Camarines Sur

2007-06-06T13:12:00.000+08:00

Take the position of Christ and leave everything to Faith. – Lawrence “Loleng” Tang

I think this was the best line of our very short vacation to Naga/Camarines Sur last June 2-3. But before you go thinking that we went to a retreat or recollection, this line isn’t so “religious” as it seems. I’ll explain later.

The plan was simple, to visit Kuya Gil in Naga, his regency area before Ate Maita and Ate Trina both leave for New York (that’s in August). But we weren’t supposed to just go to Naga, we were to hit Caramoan Island, and go island hopping. But because of workstuff and family matters, the pre-scheduled 3-4days vacation became a weekend. Thus we opted for the nearby beach and go wakeboarding in Pili. And the 3 girls vacation became plus 1 because Loleng has never been to Naga was intrigued by the praises the city has been getting in terms of its good governance. My JVP batchmate Ken, native of Naga, tagged along and served as our host.

(THE WHOLE GANG!)

My OCness required me to make an itinerary, which from day1 we never got to follow. Our bus had a flat tire so instead of arriving in Naga at around 430AM, we got there at 730ish. Good thing Fr.Joel was very nice and lent us not only the JR Van but his driver as well.

ATULAYAN ISLAND – my kind of beach! About 2 hours away from Naga City(an hour and a half on road plus 30 minute boat ride), there exists a serene, peaceful, white island. There are a few inhabitants in the island and few visitors as well. The beach is calm, water was just right and there are a few schools of fish for the delight of ones eyes. There are no restaurants there, one must bring food with them for lunch and snacks.

The weather cooperated with us that day in Atulayan. It had been raining days before we arrived, but last Saturday, the sun was up. 2hours after our estimated time of arrival in Atulayan - 11AM, we were indeed enjoying the beach! But they went and swam first. When I got in the water, it was close to noon but we didn’t mind the sun. We have been praying for a good weather, we shouldn’t complain.

We were swimming, making “kwentuhan” while Trina was relaxing floating around.

Me: “Di ako marunong niyan.”
Trina: “Ay, pareho kayo ni Gil.”
Loleng: “Huh? Ano ba ang dali-dali niyan. Relax” (I try to do it)
Me: “See I can’t.”
Loleng: “Ano ba? Ganito lang yan,(shows me how to do it), just take the position of Christ and leave everything to faith.” (And he floats)
Me and Trina: “Naka naman sa pag-explain”

I tried to do it again, still can’t float, still can’t relax. But I will never consider it as a sign that I am of little faith. I refuse to.

(PRESENTING,THE BEACH!)

New Toy!

2007-05-24T09:30:00.000+08:00

I'm posting this mostly because I know my sister will react. Hahaha!

I've converted her to using a mac, and it is mostly for my advantage. Now I don't have to borrow money from her to get myself a mac. I have claimed her new laptop to be half-mine, because I know in terms of graphics and other programs, the computer is more for me. Hey! I'm even using it right now.hehehe.

She doesn't have bday gift to me yet, so I'm teasing her, thanking her for this mega-wonderful gift. Which I can claim in 2 years pa! Who cares?! 2 years will come as a breeze, especially since majority of that time I'll be able to use it.

I'm very busy with new work but hopefully this weekend and next I'd really be able to play with this. For now, Tetet can, afterall she did pay for it. hehehe. And I think she made a huge mistake when she remarked, "In 2 years or when I'm sawa na." because knowing her, madali sya magsawa, that means in less than 2 years.yihee!

I have a new toy! I have a new toy! Yippee dooo! I can now download episodes of Heroes, Grey's, ER, hmmmm...

Of Tsunami, Cars and Me

2007-05-17T17:08:00.000+08:00

I recently started a new job. My recent random reflections.
---
CALM BEFORE THE STORM (May 15, 2007)

Worst, Kuya Popoy (my JVP area supervisor) described it as Calm before TSUNAMI!

I've been in the office since 915AM although I was asked to come at around 930AM. Well I've been in the area since 7AM since my sister's car's coding and I decided to bring it with me. Today is my first day in this new job. I'll be working as a Program Development Officer monitoring sustainability efforts, resource management and communcation for Bindum, Bukidnon. Bindum, by the way was my JVP area in 2001-2002. Bindum is my 2nd home.

No one was in the office yet. Pedro (Fr. Peter Walpole, SJ), my boss, was still in Pangasinan. Sylvia was still out too, although she arrived around 11AM. Pedro's new Assistant had nothing for me except to read the website of APC (Apu Palamguwan Center). Sadly I know and have read all of the articles there so it wasn't really much of a help. And APC was my JVP area, I know far more than the history it has in its website.

Pedro was supposed to arrive at 230PM so we can meet, with Chona the APC Program Manager. We were to discuss details of my job description and line up deliverables for atleast the next month. There is so much to do.

He hasn't arrived yet. We called Pedro around 1Pm and he was still in Tarlac, that's about 2 hours away from Manila, without traffic. So I sit here, in front of my office computer bored but expecting tons of work later. I don't like this stillness, it's too quiet - it is too calm. It's scary. Maybe Kuya Popoy is right, what's coming might not just be a storm, but a huge tsunami out to get me.

What did I get myself into?!
--
(May 17, 2007)

For some reason, I've always compared my life circustances with cars. Maybe because I've always loved cars and they are way cool metaphors.

So anyway, it was a Tsunami indeed! Kuya Popoy was right. After almost 6 hours of silence, calmness and boredom during my 1st day of work, came a load of work all for rush. The tasks thrown, although a bit expected, were overwhelming.

I know for a fact that one of the main reasons why I was offered this job is my background being a JVP in Bindum and my continued support for the school even after I left the area. No need for them to orient me with the history of the area, how things are going about, who are the people working in Malaybalay and in Bindum. I've always been sort of updated with how things are going in the area and I've never failed to visit atleast once a year. But this is going to be my job now and it entails more details and coordination so to be asked to do tons of things before the end of the week just isn't the same. Here it is - no time for orientation right now, files are here and there because no one really handled them before I got in, classes in the area are starting on Mon-May21, and my office computer doesn't have Microsoft OS yet and doesn't have programs just yet. Nge! It's crazy, so crazy I really wanted to cry yesterday with the number of things I needed to accomplish today.

I'm like a car. For 5 months I was parked in my safe world of freelancing. And now because things just can't wait for APC, from being parked I need to zoom out into the world fast. Without passing through 1st or 2nd gear, I need to speed up into 3rd and 4th gear. No room to be a "diesel," must be a gasoline running machine.But how does one do that really without the possibility of damaging ones transmission? I don't know. I just hope my transmission holds up because right now I ought to continue running at atleast 80kph.

Isang Tanong (One Question)

2007-04-30T11:48:00.000+08:00

Usual Sunday night viewing is CSI marathon, that’s from 9-12 midnight. Most of the time though I only watch up to 11PM, CSI New York, as I am not a big fan of CSI Miami. So as I was changing channels, I came across the GMA 7 special “ISANG TANONG:The Senatorial Forum.” I wonder why I didn’t know about the forum earlier. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen a teaser of it. Then again, I haven’t been watching much local TV except for the news and I flip channels when advertisements come. DVD marathon of “Prison Break” and this new series “Dexter” has been eating my TV time.

I was excited to find out that there’s a show that will try to help me know the candidates for the senatorial post. So far I only have about 6 people in my list of senators to vote for so there are still 6 more slots to fill. I haven’t done my research yet, on the background of the other candidates - I scheduled to do it this week.

SAYANG. Too bad the show couldn’t be aired earlier. I know a lot of people who are voting this May, who don’t know much about the candidates and are only voting for the ones that are “well-known” or have managed to get themselves well-known over the last few months as part of their campaign. It would have been nice for them to have listened to the answers of the candidates present but I know some of them are already asleep at that time – 11PM. Take my grandparents for instance; they are asleep by 830 or 930PM the most. Or my mom, my uncles and aunts who go to bed at around 1030PM. Papa (my maternal grandfather) is all set to vote for Cayetano, whom I totally despise(!!), because newspapers have been filled about him since late last year, “uncovering” anomalous practices of the Arroyo administration. To Papa, he’s one of our hopes to toppling down GMA. But if Papa heard how he couldn’t even directly answer the 3 questions that were thrown to him last night, I’m sure he’d think twice about voting for him. He just kept on using election campaign terms –“pahirap, para sa mahihirap, itigil/sugpuin ang corruption, ako man ay laki sa hirap.” etc. but can’t even give concrete, tangible plans. Seriously!?! Go to the rural poor communities who do not have access to clean water, to proper medical facilities, who can’t get the most basic/elementary education – that’s laki sa hirap! And “sugpuin ang corruption,” seriously, don’t even start with me on that. I was working for an anticorruption program which has been of existence for about 4 years only and I’m pretty sure they’ve done more about the issue than you have. And the leaders of the program are not even in Congress! You don’t know what you are talking about! (I told you I despise him!) Enough of that, some people who just choose to vote for underdogs might just vote for him.

Too bad not all the Senatorial Candidates were there. It would have been such entertainment to hear what Richard Gomez and Cesar Montano have to say or not have the ability to say. Hehehe. Where were the other candidates who spent millions on their TV ads, that show could have been good publicity. Or were they too afraid we’d find out they are incompetent and that their nervous eyes would sell insincerity? They shouldn’t have been really, because using Boy Abunda as their VO and using corny taglines like “Itanim sa Senado” at “Libreng Preschool” already told us there are just like actors.

Bakit ISANG TANONG lang? (Why only one question?) Some of them got lucky enough to get a good question they probably know a lot about. What about the other pertinent questions? I’ve been to job interviews and they asked a lot of questions related to the post I was applying for. They look into work experiences, character references and give situational questions and circumstances. And that’s only for posts that will handle about 30-40 people or 1 small rural community of 100 people. The Senate post is a national public post, for the entire people of our nation. I wasn’t accepted in a couple of jobs I applied for and I’d like to think that I wasn’t chosen not because I wasn’t good or that I wouldn’t be able to handle the job – I wasn’t chosen because I probably wasn’t THE BEST for that position and somebody else can do a better job. And so I don’t take it against the company (ok that’s not exactly true, I sometimes take it against them ofcourse-only human and rejection is not a very happy experience, hehehe). So goes for my standards for the leaders of our country. I truly believe my country deserves not somebody who’s just good, but someone who is THE BEST for the post!

Our country deserves more than one question to be answered. The post they are applying for is so important that it deserves a lot of questions to be answered. And not only in words, but just like in any post, we need to look into their past experiences which will make them qualified for the position; we need to look into their character and work references; we need to hear tangible/real experience based answers and tangible plans.

So here’s my “Isang Tanong” (for myself and maybe for you): Are you ready to search, research and choose the Best, most Qualified leaders for your nation using the same standard that you choose the people who work for you in your offices/businesses or in your homes? Because like I always say this is your only home, your only country and you are therefore a key instrument to either its development or its doom.

(part2) HolyWeek2007

2007-04-24T23:20:00.000+08:00

--Tagaytay and Enchanted Kingdom- -

Friday – I can no longer count the times I’ve been to Tagaytay. I like it there, Tagaytay is cold enough and near enough to be a good place of sanctuary. We went there to meet Lolo Choy (Mama’s cousin and our youngest lolo, he’s only 4 years older than my mom) for lunch and pasyal at Highlands. But Lola Auntie insisted we see Taal Vista first, it’s the hotel she remembers in Tagaytay. She went there in the 80s to attend a conference of some sort. But since it’s 2007 already, it’s not the same Taal Vista she remembers.

It wasn’t very cold in Tagaytay the week we came, it wasn’t that windy too. But we had good lunch and a good afternoon. We couldn’t do much walking, having 3 senior citizens with us, but we had a blast at the mini-zoo taking pictures of the 3grandparents holding the birds. Mama was so scared, it was cute.

Saturday – By Friday night Ella wasn’t feeling well already, Bianca has been sick since Thursday so we actually got 2 kids sick for the Enchanted Kingdom day – the supposed to be happiest day for them. But Bianca was in a fighting mode that she was really well by Saturday AM. Ella on the other hand was just beginning her battle with fever so that wasn’t good.

EK pushed through and because we were there by 11AM, lines were non existent. In 30 minutes we were able to ride 3 rides. Not bad since my memories of EK is about 30 minute waiting time for a ride.

Bianca is a revelation, her favorite is Anchor’s Away and she rode it 6 times! – 4 of those with me, 2 with her dad. On our last ride together, she didn’t’ only insist we sit on the tipmost, she even raised her hands with me – tough kid! (mana sa ate kang!). Bianca also rode the Roller Skater (the mini roller coaster, but for kids I’m sure it’s a tough ride) so many times I stopped counting. The only ride she couldn’t muster the courage to take was Space Shuttle, but if she didn’t have fever I’m sure she’d ride that.

4D is a must for people who plan to go to EK either for the first time or if you’re coming back after a long while. It’s so worth your 40 pesos (or 80php if you’re not a ride all you can ticket holder). Actually that was the only new attraction for me in Enchanted.

The best sight in EK though was seeing my grandparents ride the mini train and the carousel. Papa even rode the horse! Fun, cute!

Holy Week 2007 (part 1)

2007-04-20T10:53:00.000+08:00

March 31 – Picked up my relatives (composed of my Mom, my maternal grandparents, my maternal grandmother’s elder sister, my Aunt – Mommy Ton (Miton), her daughter – Bianca and my 8 year old cousin Ella) around 330PM. They’re flight was a bit delayed. Thanks to Kuya Marlon (my JVP batchmate and kababayan from Davao) my transportation problems were solved.

Manila is so different already, that in the eyes of my grandparents. Flyovers didn’t exist yet the last time they were here. Well, my grandfather came here in the early 90s but he went straight to Pangasinan to attend a wedding he can’t remember Manila so much. Huge malls and buildings abound the metro, Manila wasn’t like that before. Mama (maternal grandmother) pointed to a some huge buildings along EDSA and asked – “Yan ba yung condo nak?” And I answered some of them, some are offices. I pointed her to a building along EDSA which is a condo where PDA winner YENG lives (my family are huge Kapamilyas!) and Mama can’t imagine why people would want to live in a condo. She kept asking if my ate’s condo is that tall and I assured her it wasn’t, hers looks more like a townhouse.

Palm Sunday – I was the resident cook the whole duration of my relatives’ stay here in Manila. And since my grandparents are already up at 4AM, I was kinda forced to wake up at around the same time or an hour later. The first thing they do in the morning is pray, and they pray for about 40mins so it gave me ample time to sleep. They’re early church goers as well so the scheduled Palm Sunday mass at 1030 wasn’t followed. My mom, aunt & cousins heard the anticipated mass at 730PM, I (without the need to be asked) was to accompany my grandfolks for 730AM Palm Sunday mass. Suddenly flashes of JVP morning praise came back to me.

Holy Tuesday and Wednesday - Tuesday was BULACAN day, where a lot of Mama’s relatives reside. Literally, a hot day the van’s aircon barely worked. It didn’t help that I was seated at the back most to accommodate some of our other relatives who reside here in Manila and were to join us in Bulacan. Incidentally, Papa’s (paternal grandfather) younger sister who’s now based in California has a house in San Jose del Monte. So we went there first for Papa to see the house himself. He wanted to visit his nieces and nephews there.

Afterwards we hit Malolos to visit Mama’s older sister who’s actually showing early signs of second childhood. It was a bit of a search as we didn’t know where she was exactly, if she was with this kid of hers or in her own house. We ended up waiting for her in the house of her daughter who was actually my “tita-yaya” when I was a baby. She gave me my nickname. She was studying in Davao when I was born and she would take care of me while she does her assignment. Very “Maalala Mo Kaya” story if you ask me. I’ve only seen her in pictures until last Tuesday so that was nice.

Anyway, my Lola Dely (the one we were waiting for) truly wasn’t in the mood that we almost left without seeing her. My grandmothers were already on the way to the van and decided that if in 30 minutes she still doesn’t come (Lola Dely was coming from a nearby house, a padyak away) we would go home. It didn’t matter if they didn’t see her but they won’t budge and give in to her request for us to go to her. Afterall her elder sister was with us (Lola Auntie- that’s what we call Mama’s elder sister) and if she does respect her ate, she’d know better and go to her. And she did. And it was like a scene out of a tele-novela as tears were exchanged, etc.etc. Miton and mom were teasing that it felt like a movie was being shot as people were staring at us and I was holding my SLR camera stealing pictures. It was indeed a “family moment” and a bit funny too.

WEDNESDAY was lighter. We scheduled a mini-reunion with Papa’s relatives this time, just in Project 8 in the house of one of his nieces. It was actually so near my dad’s house. I pitied Papa a bit as he caught colds and coughs from the Bulacan trip so he wasn’t really feeling well. It was the heat I guess and the bad air here in Manila. We got to Tita Amy’s (daughter of Papa’s younger sister) house around 340PM, earlier than the scheduled 4PM Merienda-Reunion but it’s ok because atleast Lola Tisit (Papa’s younger sister) was already there. We were already beginning to eat our Spaghetti when Lolo Pitis and Lola Eto arrived. It was an amazing experience. Miton, Mama and Papa were running toward them and so were them toward us. Tears of joy were exchanged and we were mere spectators of the great event. Mama didn’t cry seeing Lola Dely but she cried seeing Papa’s brother and sisters.

It was a light, fun afternoon. I didn’t know I had an aunt in WWF until last Holy Wednesday. And Tita Cora has been in a couple of NGOs before WWF too. So my NGO/Social Development leaning can’t just be attributed to Jesuit Education, it actually runs in the blood. And I ought to visit Pangasinan soon, Lolo Pitis resides there together with his wife Lola Connie and 3 labradors. I haven’t really been there except the number of times we passed by on the way to Baguio.

---

I admit, I’m Papa’s girl and his favorite (I’m Karen, the paboritong apo in the McDo commercial around 6 years ago), but I know the reunion with his family is sweeter. Because atleast with mama, lola auntie is also in Davao so she has a sibling with her, Papa doesn’t.

Guilty Nationalist

2007-03-08T14:57:00.000+08:00

Last elections, 2004, I was a very active voter's educator. I remember talking to my boss, then JVP Executive Director now a Jesuit Brother - Mark Lopez, that we ought to have a Voter's Ed module during the Midyear Evaluation seminar for JVP Batch24. The module was to be informative, simple and something they can easily adapt in their areas. It was of National importance that we help people become more aware of how to vote and who to vote. And admittedly, it was a personal concern and passion... The module during the midyear did happen and the volunteers rated it highest in the seminar evaluation.

I remember that my last lines during the session was to make sure that they do it in their areas; that they hold their own voter's ed. More often than not, Jesuit Volunteers are given high regard in the areas, thus placing them in an influential position. It was their duty both to the people in their area and to our country.

I was also doing various voter's ed works outside my work as JVP. . . But that was in 2004. Elections are coming up but I have found myself not caring that much. I don't even read the paper as often as I did nor do I watch the news. A huge part of me has become quite apathetic.

----
The past 2 weeks have been hell week,doing an instructional video on how to vote and how to protect our votes. I won't go to the details on why this project seem to have badluck tied to it as I may change how you perceive some people whom a lot of us have always admired.

Part of the video is shooting MAN on the STREET (MOS) interviews, throwing them different questions related to elections. One question reads - "Ano ang mga katangian ng tao na sa tingin mo ay dapat ihalal at ilagay sa pwesto ng panunungkulan sa Gobyerno?" Answers varied but they were as vague as - "MakaDiyos, Makabayan, May Malasakit sa Mahihirap, May puso para sa masa." Not that there's anything wrong with those answers. I mean, sure I would want a leader with all those qualities but can't you give me something more tangible and measurable? I was throwing follow up questions, specific to education qualities or experiences, careful not to lead them into my own answer but they continued to be vague - "Ok lang kahit di graduate sa kolehiyo basta nais makatulong."

Can I just say this out loud? - DIYOS ko PO!!! Ganito lang ba talaga kalawak ang nais natin sa ating mga lider? In that case Richard Gomez does have a point for running and winning because he did say he just wanted to help. And how do we measure makaDiyos? Because he goes to mass regularly or we see him in Church? And how do we balance makamasa with may alam sa batas at sa panunungkulan?

Mga kababayan, CAN WE BE MORE DEMANDING?! When it comes to our leaders, we ought to demand for the best! Let's put in some specifics when we are asked for qualities of the leaders we want. Let's make that list concrete, tangible and make no compromises. Magaling nga siya pero mamamatay tao, hindi pwede yun. Makamasa nga siya pero wala siyang alam sa batas. Nais niyang makatulong, pero di wala siyang konkretong plano kung paano niya gagawin yun. We've become such a country of pwede na yan and we ought to stop it. Hindi pwede ang pwede na yan!

Felt so bad after doing the MOS. I felt helpless and a lot guilty. I actually wanted to hold an impromptu Voter's Ed in the shoot, if only we had time and I had the energy to do so... We are still editing the instruction video and there's not a part there that really educates the voter's on who to vote and to have high standards in choosing leaders. It reminds them to be careful who to vote for, pero walang pagdiin kung sino nga ba bobotohin.

Sad, guilty... I ought to get up and do something more.

JOURNEY to HOPE

2007-02-28T14:21:00.000+08:00

I have to do this since I wrote 80% of the Script and will help manage the stage on the concert day itself. So might as well promote it. Kung di ko lang talaga mahala ang JVP.hehehe
---
Here's a good way to spend your Friday!

Want to catch a concert which will feature Broadway Songs?!
The concert is for the benefit of JESUIT VOLUNTEERS PHILIPPINES(JVP) FOUNDATION, INC.

JVP has been sending Volunteers to different areas in the Philippines for about 27 years now. Volunteers serve as teachers, community organizers, socio pastoral workers, youth facilitators among many others.

Catch
JOURNEY TO HOPE
A Heartwarming Musical of Broadway Favorites
Featuring - Bituin Escalante, Jed Madela, Karylle,
Drae Ibañez(Phil Idol), and Nenen Espina
MARCH 16, 8PM, AFP Theatre
Tickets at - 300, 500, 800, 1000 and 1200Php
For Tickets and/or Reservation you may call - 9279060, 4265908.

Taking A Breather

2007-02-01T15:19:00.000+08:00

You’d hope it will help, taking a breather that is – I mean, I was hoping it would. A part of me was sure that it would give me some clarity regarding my very hazy future.

I was running 100-120 along the South Luzon Expressway with Sister Bubbles singing songs/prayers from the upper room, quite ironic because her songs are slow but I was running fast. Bro.Javie told me that LD Retreats usually end early after lunch, around 2-3PM so I was determined to get to Tagaytay by noon so I can still have time for myself and do a quick visit to Fr.Mimo is St. Augustine Major Seminary.

Driving to Tagaytay is always a joy. I can’t count the times I’ve driven to Tagaytay, few times by myself, most with friends. Maybe it’s the pleasure of getting away from the city and getting some fresh air, feeling the cool breeze and seeing greenery that excites me to go. I love the fact that it’s just 2hours away and last Sunday it only took me 40 minutes to get there.

I had lunch in Kitaro overlooking Taal. I was determined that time alone will help me think about future career plans. My initial thoughts tried to focus on that but I my mind couldn’t help but think about how apathetic I have become when it comes to our country. I used to be one of the most updated people I know, I used to give NatSit talks or short overview of the Political situation of the country. But I barely read the paper nowadays or watch the news on TV. I used to be well informed giving the right to criticize the government and complain about the education system. As I was devouring my California maki, I asked myself if I have indeed lost the ability to care about my country and how did that happen?

It led me to writing this in my journal -

“The state of the country is just so depressing.

About four months to go until election time and I find myself not caring. A huge part of me has lost interest in the state of the country. Ella, my registered nurse friend who will most probably move to Chicago soon ,to work as a nurse, tells me I’m patriotic. She told me this after we talked about the possibility of her raising a family either in USA or in Canada as her boyfriend is Fil-Canadian. It’s just that I don’t see myself living and growing old abroad. Migrating has never been an option for me and I don’t think it ever will. Ate Marj, the ever reliable admin officer of SLB (Simbahang Lingkod ng Bayan), asked me last Friday if I never considered working abroad. I also answered No and Never and answered without hesitation.

Perhaps to a certain degree, I am nationalistic – I guess.

I don’t appreciate what I’ve been seeing and reading lately. I only browse through newspapers and the very few things I read I am not happy about. The fact that elections are coming up makes everything worst. Those darn politicians’ faces are all over the tabloids and TV again. Campaigning isn’t supposed to start yet but they have their ads already about laws/bills they have passed.

I’ve seen a glimpse of those potentially running and a part of me wants to puke. Will I even vote this year having no good choice at all? (except Butch Abad, I admire the guy. Will he really run though, I’m not sure).

For sure there’s more to patriotism that merely staying and not migrating to USA or CANADA. For to stay and not care is but a waste; to stay and not do something about poverty and corruption isn’t loving our country. Question though – Do I still have the capacity to actually really care and move toward helping rebuild our nation? So far, the answer seems to be no, not anymore.”

After lunch and a belgian waffle from Starbucks I headed to Fr. Mimo for a quick hello. I listened to him practice for a concert he’ll hold for the Bishops. I must admit that the lyrics of some of the songs they sang hit me straight to the heart – almost saying, I can never turn my back on Serving God. Wherever road life takes me, I shall always find a way to serve God.

When I got to Karis, their mass just began. Although I already heard mass, decided to join again as I found it hard to reject Norman’s, my sister’s officemate and our friend, invitation since he even picked me up outside the session hall. After mass, their graduation rites took place which took about 2 hours to finish. It gave me time to read and reflect. Sadly though my reflection led me nowhere but to mere random thoughts about life in general.

I was hoping it would help, I hoped it would give me some clarity – but it didn’t. I’m still as confused as ever, undecided about the career path to take. But it was a good drive, a good break nonetheless.

Unwritten

2007-01-22T11:09:00.000+08:00

A MUSIC REVIEW

This song first got me when it was used in the PANTENE Ad with Kris Aquino in it. I don't like Kris Aquino much but she was pretty there and lines "Feel the rain on your skin!" just really got me.

Aside from the fact that this song seems to be the most fitting description of my life right now, I do think the lyrics has been well written and the melody is catchy thus making it one of the best songs I've ever heard. My ate tet was the one who has really listened to the whole song first but I claim that this song became my favorite first. Isang linya pa nga lang eh, it got me na so I liked it na last year pa.

- -
"Unwritten"
by: Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind,
I'm undefinedI'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for youOnly you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

(My net is kinda slow so I can't really upload the video. But for those interested to view it in youtube, here's the link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysnUVEUMBEs).

Why I hate driving in Metro Manila

2007-01-17T09:44:00.000+08:00

Written January 8, 2007

Wasn’t even back in Manila for 24 hours and I was already cursing darn C5 Road and EDSA and was missing Davao so much. It took me 3 freaking hours - 3 hours to get to Makati from the Katipunan area last January 5! I understand that Fridays can be so busy for the Makati area but to me 3 hours wasted just can’t be justified by anything.

this was my darn view for like 2hours!

Agot’s Bossa CD accompanied me during the ordeal of having to see mere cars in my midst. Christina Aguilera was there too but I didn’t really enjoy her new CD that much. I didn’t try to listen to any FM radio as I might hear traffic advisory and would just end up cursing the radio because I’ve always believed that those advisories are useless. The traffic situation in the metro hasn’t really changed. I know for a fact that during rush hours traffic is terrible in Cubao, in the bottleneck of Kamuning and also in the areas of EDSA-Buendia-Ayala roads. I know that public transportation is difficult in Espana and there is slow movement of cars in Quiapo and the Manila-Quezon City rotonda. Those traffic correspondents are useless; we really don’t need to hear over and over again that it’ll take us forever to get to our desired destination. Do they know that they don’t exactly help our already irritated and tired feet? Just play the darn song already so we can forget we are stuck in traffic. We’d really rather hear some cheesy song by an unknown band than hear your traffic advisory delivered in your fake American accent (The fake accent is a different story, I shall talk about that some other time).

This traffic situation in metro manila is one of the biggest reasons why I’m having doubts reconsidering working here again. I mean, I’m technically jobless, trying to assess what I really want to do in my life and this whole taking hours to get to a certain destination in manila is such a negative thing in my list of pros and cons of working in Manila.

Somebody help me think! Somebody help me get a good job in Davao with good medical benefits! What’s a good job for me? Oh, I have to answer that question right. Shit! I don’t have an answer. Can we just stick to helping me find a job in Davao with good medical benefits, that will enough for me for now?... I think.

Riding PAL

2007-01-10T17:41:00.000+08:00

Travel Journal Entry: January 4, 2007

On board PAL flight Dvo-Manila

I believe it’s been a year or more than a year since I last rode PAL (Philippine Airlines). Main reason is, PAL is way more expensive than Cebu Pacific. It just doesn’t feel like it’s worth it, especially since most of my recent travels have been paid for personally.

But why is riding PAL still better that taking Cebu even though you know it will cost you more? Here are some of my reasons:

1) Flight Attendants, as I have observed are much friendlier in PAL. They seem to act more professionally. I couldn’t blame Cebu Pacific flight attendants for not having much pride in their craft; I mean will you really be confident if you are asked to sell giveaways and other unnecessary products on board? Plus where is the pride is serving only mere C2 (bottled iced tea) on board? Aside from that, PAL flight attendants are more courteous, I believe they’ve been trained well.

2) The aircraft is bigger and cleaner. I don’t think I need to explain this one; PAL just has bigger and cleaner aircrafts.

3) The food is better – it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck, it just is better. Cebu Pacific doesn’t even serve food anymore, as I’ve mentioned earlier, they just serve bottled Iced Tea. And I love it that in PAL we can still choose the drink we want. I love my coffee on board. It’s not special coffee but the caffeine and heat just really makes one feel comfortable.

4) Reading my Paper – does Cebu even have newspaper for passengers to read? I can’t quite remember because I’m pretty sure I usually take out my book to read. But this last flight has allowed me to read the paper of the day.

This plane ticket is 1,000+ more expensive than if I flew via Cebu. Did it mainly out of convenience since my sister is taking the same flight back. Thank God PAL is not letting me down - giving me a good flight, making me feel as if this trip is worth every penny.

There's No Place Like Home (especially during the Holidays)

2007-01-03T23:25:00.001+08:00

I've said this before, that DAVAO is the best place in the world! And I'm going to say it again, Davao is the Best Place in the World!

It was great to be home once again during the holidays. Having family and friends around is what Christmas is all about. The great thing about being home for the holidays is the good food! I arrived in Davao on November 12 weighing roughly around 137lbs., I weighed yesterday and I'm already 142lbs! (Darn! Tumaba ako grabe!) With great homecooked meals and lechon for Christmas parties who wouldn't gain weight?

Movies are Cheap! At 60-70 pesos one can watch a good movie on the big screen. Add a few pesos for the popcorn and softdrinks, it's a party. Sadly though, I didn't enjoy the 2movies I most recently watched. It wasn't a total waste of money, afterall it only cost me half of what I usually spend for movies in Manila, but it was disappointing. Kasal, Kasali,Kasalo - Judy Ann starred movie had a usual plot and a way uncomplicated storyline. And it didn't exactly have good underlying messages. I mean the 2 stars got into a relationship quite easily and got married after only 4 months of being together with the main reason that the guy was about to leave for the US?! And must we really demean the lowest form of government leaders, our Baranggay Captains? That's why their constituents continue to look down on them and have no major expectations from them because we continue to tell people that they are more or less of no value. If they are, why not just abolish the position? (This is going to be long so let's change the topic) Thank you to Gina Pareno and Judy Ann for their acting abilities that saved the movie! Zsa Zsa Zaturnah! - I knew I was going to be disappointed with this one early on when they casted Zsa Zsa Padilla and Pops Fernadez to play major roles so this isn't a shock. Enjoyed and Loved the Komiks and the Musical, just didn't love the movie. But we love the editor (Halili!) so we watch it. And in fairness to Jay, the editing was really good. Except for some musical/sound technical problems. I just have to take note that Alfred Vargas should have prepared more for the movie, or atleast for one shooting day when they did the "BUONG-BUO ang NOODLES" line, because he didn't even have Noodles with that shot! Vina Morales beats him easily with her perfect noodles! hahaha!

Home for the Holidays meant hitting the beach with friends. I usually go in December with JVP friends but this time, I went with my HS friends. It was the best! We also celebrated having 2 doctors and a nurse in the barkada. We missed our other doctor, Beauty, though as she was in the states for a well-deserved vacation!

enjoying the shore of samal island!

Garden of Chemas!

(Ella, me, Renee and Jang!)

new look!

2007-01-03T22:56:00.000+08:00

para maiba lang for 2007!

madaming maiiba, sana malapit na! (parang tagline sa isang trailer ng pelikula?!)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

2006-12-30T10:05:00.000+08:00

So Christmas is long over but the Holiday spirit is still in the air. Can't help but post pictures of the Christmas display in our City Hall. It doesn't exactly have a "theme" but the colorful display is a feast to the eyes.

this display was made by KUBLAI!

Christmas It is!

2006-12-21T09:15:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I can't get my infra red to work, still can't upload Christmas pictures. I think I'll be resorting to getting a card reader soon or try my mom's bluetooth device. Tignan natin.

For now I just want to give tribute to 3 of my Christmas/Life's heroes.

MAMA and PAPA - Rogelio and Silangan Gratuito for being the best grandparents in the world! They are 2 of the most loving and generous people I know.

MOMMY - Milagros Gratuito Sonza - the greatest single parent ever!

Need to Rant

2006-12-13T10:03:00.000+08:00

I’m no longer even supposed to be here working my ass off. I’m doing it because I don’t like things unfinished. I’m supposed to be resting, reflecting on how I want to live my life in the future. Fine, I have no right to complain about staying because you actually gave me a choice and it was my own choice to stay/extend. So I’ll just blame my Jesuit education for instilling in me the values of finishing tasks, of “magis” and of being socially-oriented – of actually caring about my country and all those who live in it.

When you, without any feelings, asked me to back off the project which I was so attached to so I can focus on this project that only the two of us are working on, I did so without any questions. Although I had a feeling that my honesty in the group and my eagerness to get things done was what caused me my job there. I didn’t even say anything, or showed feelings of being hurt. I was more knowledgeable about that project even if I wasn’t the top person, but so what – I was already pissed at how things were going and admittedly I no longer wanted to work with those people. I was no longer part of the meetings on how to finish that project, I received no emails or instructions regarding it – I was literally cut off telling me my job for that project was done, it was all up to the post production people.

So when the project still didn’t flourish and that top person seemed to have messed up it even more, you heard nothing from me. Simply because I remember being told to let go and not to meddle anymore. Besides it’s been months that I’ve been out of the loop, I barely know anything anymore. You shared your disappointments, and I simply listened. I didn’t give a whole speech of “I told you so! And you pulled me out, now look what your trusted person did.” I knew you were already sad and I didn’t want to rub it in. I did tell you a piece of my mind but never blaming you and I didn’t even directly blame the person in charge.

Now, it’s still not done and so far the product sucks! (atleast in my opinion and the opinion of a few others who have seen it). Now, you tell me I should have shared this material we have in our project, that it should have been an aid to them. You said you instructed me, along with the other materials you had them research as additional materials for that darn project.

Ugh! No, I didn’t receive any emails, any instructions! I don’t even have any idea on what the other materials were because you pulled me out! You decided I was no longer needed in that team! I never received any instructions, if I did, I would have done it. Unlike some other people, I don’t have a record for not accomplishing tasks! And now you tell me that even if I didn’t receive any message, I should have known it was needed because I was once part of that other team. Excuse me! That doesn’t follow! How am I supposed to know the new instructions if I was asked not to join any of the meetings and if I didn’t receive any more emails?!

No, we can’t read your mind. Most of the time we, I, don’t know what’s going on in your head. Not even when you give me directions. Notice how I always paraphrase your instructions just to make sure I got it right? A million times I wish I can get inside your brain and organize your thoughts for you. I wish you can learn to focus and channel your creative energies more productively.

Don’t go blaming me now for the mistakes of the team you trusted to deliver! Besides, what they have created so far is so not good, that the material which I was “supposed” to share with them will not have a huge impact. It’ll not change the script or the story line back to the original one we brainstormed on. It will not make it shorter and more interesting. So far their product is horrible! That’s the reality! It doesn’t suit our target market, which is my age – my generation! Because the team that was left to finish it is so not my age, so not my generation! I repeat – I, being held responsible for a lacking material will not change that fact.

Yes to Christmas!

2006-11-29T14:02:00.000+08:00

All Saturdays of December, beginning DECEMBER 2

815-845AM, ABS-CBN

"Yes to Christmas!"

JESCOM’s Christmas Special

2006-11-28T10:05:00.000+08:00

“Yes to Christmas!” Watch it ALL SATURDAYS of DECEMBER, 830AM on ABS-CBN beginning DECEMBER 2!

The last few weeks of October up to the first few weeks of November became quite busy for me. The last time I was in a shooting was February-March of this year, for the Ehem documentary and for AVPs of Ignite Media with Jay Halili.

Sonolux, where Jescom’s office and studios are located, became a home for me and the other members of the production management team for about a month. Balara, as the main location of the Christmas Special became our second home. For the 8 shooting days, I was out of my house at around 4am and came home the next day, or 2 days after, roughly around 2-3am. In between shooting dates were shooting/logistical preparations, and after were postproduction/editing works. Lucky for me, I only helped out in editing the first episode (of 4) as I was scheduled to go home here in Davao last November 12.

JOHN, KIRAY, MIKYLLA, and YUKI – I am not a big fan of Going Bulilit.
Actually, I don’t like the show because I feel that the children are being manipulated. When it was still new, I tried to watch it and was very dismayed that its format and content are very much for adults. Talk about corrupting the minds of our minors! But the show is in partnership with ABSCBN Foundation and thus it was more or less important to have ABS child stars in it.

Before the character/talent briefing, talent coordinator Dex and I talked about the final actors in the show. I don’t know why but I actually knew who Kiray was. And Yuki, I knew from “Tanging Ina” as that deaf child of Ai-Ai. I wasn’t familiar who JOHN and MIKAY were. I had to look into their pictures to know who they were. After seeing their pictures, I recognized that John was that kid I loved in the Magic Flakes commercial and Mikay was that “Bibo (hotdog)” kid who uttered the line, “marunong din po ako mag English at Bisaya!.” (although in reality, the kid can’t speak Bisaya).

The kids were great, they were our babies. They had their “kulit and pasaway” moments of course, but most of the time they were just our angels on set. They were our source of laughter and strength, especially during the weary hours of the shoot.

John is a serious actor and a very sweet kid. As much as I don’t want to play favorites, I couldn’t help but love this young boy. He’s a sweetie not only to the staff, but to his parents as well. He comes to the set on time and is most of the time well prepared to deliver his lines. He easily absorbs director’s instructions and can cry in a snap. And he’s just a handsome young boy! Pogi!

Mikay, the youngest among them at 8, is a great kid as well. She’s a bit slow in memorizing her lines, but we can understand. This young girl can act. I love it that at a young age, she is quite independent on the set. She also listens to instructions quite well and is very polite and obedient.

Yuki is the smartest. He’s already 11, far from the Tenten character he played in Tanging Ina. This kid loves to play scrabble and has endless jokes and trivia to share. I hate to be judgmental but I’d like to attribute his intellect to the fact that among the 4, Yuki is the only one in regular school. The other 3 are doing home study. Among the four, Yuki is not a going bulilit kid. But do not allow Yuki to start playing video games (PSP or Nintendo DS or Gameboy) because you’ll have a hard time getting him back on the set.

Kiray – hay Kiray. She’s an old soul trapped in a 12 year old kid. Maybe because she’s been an actress since she was 3 that Kiray talks like a 30 year old individual. She can be really kulit and is quite spoiled. She easily gets out of the mood when she doesn’t get what she wants. Her frankness is cute but there are times it can border on being “bastos.” There were a few times on the set that the teacher in me couldn’t help but approach her and correct her attitude. But Kiray is still a kid; she gives a sincere apology and accepts her mistakes quite constructively.

I miss the kids! And sometimes, just so I can see them, I find myself switching to the ABS Channel on Sunday at around 6PM. But I still don’t like Going Bulilit, so after a few minutes – after I see my kids, I switch it to a different channel or turn off the TV.

(Still no pictures from Paolo, hopefully he does send us the pics soon so I can also post them)

busy doing

2006-11-09T12:46:00.000+08:00

(with me (L-R) are Kuya Rey (DOP), Kuya Marlon(Crew), Mang Boy (driver), and Kuya Chito (cameraman))

For the last 2 weeks I was busy with preparations and production proper (shooting) for Jesuit Communications Foundation's Christmas Special. Our working title was "No 2 Xmas." But since the title sounded so negative, I think the final title will be "Yes 2 Xmas." We will just put some effects to make sure "No" still appears in the title.

Anyway, I am still trying to find time to write a more detailed and longer piece about it. As of the moment we are editing Episode 1 (the entire Christmas special is 4 episodes long), so we are still technically busy. For now I am posting some pictures during our shoot.... not of the Christmas special though,hehehe. Coz our Director of Photography, Paoly Dy, hasn't really sent us any pics.

The pictures in this entry are from our shoot of the Ehem Video Documentary which to date still isn't finished. Darn it! (That's a different story though). But the people with me in the pictures are the same crew that worked with us in the Christmas Special (and more). We had such a small crew doing the Ehem Video, I actually served as the Boom Operator/Audioperson/Mixer during some of our shooting dates. (Di lang basta posing ang mga pics na ito).

update kunyari

2006-11-08T12:04:00.000+08:00

I was sick, and was busy for the last 2 weeks,shooting.

Didn't have time to blog, and still can't find time to do so.

Hopefully soon, I have lots to tell, lots to share.

I'll find time.

For now, 3 days to go before I go home to Davao!Yippee!

So True, So Me!

2006-10-06T14:00:00.000+08:00

Got this from Jerry Jose. So Me!

You Are Sunset

Even though you still may be young, you already feel like you've accomplished a lot in life.
And you feel free to pave your own path now, and you're not even sure where it will take you.
Maybe you'll pursue higher education in a subject you enjoy - or travel the world for a few years.
Either way, you approach life with a relaxed, open attitude. And that will take you far!

What Time Of Day Are You?

was tagged by my Ates!

2006-09-25T14:31:00.000+08:00

I've been tagged a few times already, but I've been a bad girl and actually didn't do anything about it. But now, 2 of my most loved ates just tagged me, so how can I refuse!?

1. How often do you blog? Not that often actually, usually when there's something interesting to share to friends, preferrably regarding a trip!

2. Online Alias: Batang Byahera (but i'm thinking of changing it soon, haven't really traveled for quite some time now.hmmm)

3. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? yeah..

4. What do you do most often when you are bored? watch DVDs, read, write or paint

5. When bathing, which do you wash first? um, usually my legs and feet first, I don't know why. and I actually wash them again when I wash my entire body.hmm

6. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? around 30 plus hours, I have but for days with long nights, I usually was able to take some power naps.

7. What color looks best on you? A number of friends have said I look good in Red and Black.

8. What’s your favorite alcoholic drink? tequila siguro and red horse.

9. Do you believe in heaven and hell as a real place that each of us will go to after death? I believe in God, so I believe in Heaven!

10. Do you find that you have more online friends than offline friends? nope.

11. What was your favorite subject in school? Loved my production, philo and arts subjects in college. But I enjoyed all my classes actually, except math.hahaha

12. Are you a perfectionist? Di naman, but I can be pretty OC sometimes. But I also have my "tamad," mediocre days.

13. Do you spend more than you can afford? don't we all?! I still manage to save though, but I really ought to budget better.

14. Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before? hmm. i guess. whatever! hahaha! (bitter?)

15. Do you consider yourself creative? yes, but I know not as creative as others

16. Do you give yourself the credit you deserve? not really

17. Do you donate time or money to charities? yes. And sometimes my family thinks I'm overdoing it. I guess I do, sometimes.haay

18. Have you recently done something that you’ve criticized others for doing? hehehehe.. yeah. bad!tsktsktsk

19. What’s on your mind right now? when can we finally move in that darn condo so I can cook and bake!?! Grrr, that previous owner, walang isang salita!hehehe

20. Say one nice thing about the person who tagged you and the five people that you are going to tag

ATE ANJ - one of the coolest, adventurous and sweetest person I've ever met. I'm so glad were friends and that when I come home to Davao, they are there! yippee!
ATE MAY8 - best hugger in the world! and I'll get you your own copy of ItuMama soon, so you can watch it and keep Diego for yourself too. miss you!

I'm tagging
TE TATIT and TE PIA - so they can finally update their blog!
ERIC and ERROL - coz they are my jesuit brothers who have free access to the net
LAST SLOT - for anyone who's interested.hehehe

4 countries in a week

2006-09-20T15:07:00.000+08:00

Emma is from Mongolia, Flavia is a native of Namibia, Simon came from Zambia and Hennie was born and raised in South Africa. In a week, it felt as if I have traveled to 4 countries and I never even left the country.

My 4 new friends are in our country for a month long seminar-course for volunteer management c/o VSO (Voluntary Service Overseas) – Bahaginan. Their short course is really based in Searsolin,Cagayan de Oro City because Xavier University is co-sponsoring it. All in all there are 24 participants from 18 different countries as scholars of the said the course. For a week, they were separated to go on different immersion sites all over the country, 4 of which were assigned here in Manila. I was hired by VSO-Bahaginan to be the facilitator/coordinator for the said immersion week. It was a tight schedule from September 10-16, but we still managed to have fun each day.

As I’m still feeling weak today, I’ve been sick since Saturday night (luckily it was the last day of the immersion weak), this entry will just be an intro to my wonderful story of traveling to 4 countries in a week.

If I didn’t meet Emma, Flavia, Simon and Hennie, I actually wouldn’t know what their countries’ flags look like.

Did you know that?

>In Mongolia the average temperature is 4-8 degrees. So cold that during Emma’s first few days here in the Philippines her body needed total adjustment she had asthma attack and was advised by doctor to take anti-histamine 3x a day while she’s in the Philippines.

>There are only 1.8Million people in Namibia? There are so few of them and the sad part is HIV and AIDS is much prevalent in their country. To date, there are about 300+ thousand Namibians who are positive of HIV/AIDS.

Flavia strikes a pose in UP Diliman

>That there is a NGO in South Africa which is the exact equivalent of our Bantay Bata here in our country. It’s called ISO ALABONTWANA, direct translation is, “My eyes fixed on the Child.” It has the same vision of protecting the rights of a child.

Emma&Hennie having fun at Conspiracy

>Most Zambians don’t eat pork. Not because of Religion, even the Catholics of Zambia don’t eat pork because it was never in their tradition to eat the meat of pork and most believe that pigs are one of the dirtiest animals on earth so why eat something so filthy right?

Simon with the relaxing view of La Mesa

Davaoeña and Proud!

2006-09-05T11:32:00.000+08:00

lOn my flight back to Manila from Davao last August 21, the pre-departure area was filled with tourists exchanging Kadayawan stories. Some people were giggling/laughing while reviewing pictures they took during their stay in the city; some were still taking pictures admiring the new airport; some were looking at the members of Freestyle band; I heard most share different kadayawan adventures (white water rafting, indak-indak sa dalan, concerts, fruit tripping, etc). I couldn’t help a smile, they were all talking about my home which, to date, I can proudly say is the best place in the world.

I remember when I was younger, Kadayawan wasn’t that big. To us it simply meant fruits are more abundant than usual and classes will be suspended. We, Davaoeños, didn’t really dance on the streets and participated so much in the events. We usually just stayed at home and watched the coverage on TV. In college, because I was part of the college yearbook, Kadayawan became work day. I covered the festival at least 2 times. Taking still photos during the Indak-indak sa dalan and Floral parade meant being with the best photographers in the city, members of the Davao Camera Club. I remember how Sir Chiaw would instruct me to follow him so I don’t get lost in the crowd and how he’d show me some different angles to take pictures of. Joining Kadayawan was a high as it allowed me to experiment on my shots and truly be where the action is. Since then, Kadayawan wasn’t just another festival to me, it was a celebration of the Filipino culture at its finest.

wala ako dito, but I took this pic with Ninin, Shiva, Ate Lisa and Ate Anj

Being technically based outside Davao for 5 years now meant missing the festival. In 2002 although I was teaching in Ateneo de Davao for a semester, I missed the Kadayawan festivities because I took advantage of the no class days to enroll myself in UP for my masters. Kadayawan 2006, is a coming home of sorts, and it was a sweet homecoming.

SALE – gotta love the mall wide sale during Kadayawan. I remember getting new jeans and shirts half their original prices during midnight sales. Books on sale are also something to look forward to. But this year’s best buy during the Kadayawan season was a pair of new Adidas Yoga/Aerobics’ shoes for mom. My eldest sister, Chelin, and I decided to treat our mom to new rubber shoes because she is very much into aerobics these days. The shoes we got her used to be 3,200+ but we got it at 2,157. Very good buy! The funniest thing about it is that mom said that if the basis is its original price, it’ll be on her top 5 most expensive shoes.

INDAK-INDAK – I had to work Saturday AM, and I felt bad because I was going to miss Indak-Indak (street dancing) Sa Dalan. You see my last memory of it was that it happens in the morning but to my surprise, they scheduled it at 12noon-8PM. So at around 130PM I was sitting inside my friends’ hotel room in Marco Polo, with a perfect view of the Indak-Indak sulking a bit because I didn’t have my camera with me. But our commentary in the hotel room cheered me easily. It was TQ’s, a very good friend and former officemate, first Kadayawan festival so I insisted we join “regular Davao tourists (Ninin, Ate Lisa, Shiva, Ina and Mike Juan)” and honorary Davaoeños (Ate Anj, Jerry Jose, etc.) walk the streets of Davao for a closer Indak2x action. TQ, although she was her usual calm, prim and proper self, enjoyed taking pictures of and with the contestants of the street dancing competition. We all were on a high looking for our favorite street performers making sure we have our pictures taken with them. Of course, no one can beat Shiva’s gameness(is there such a word?) in taking pictures, doing crazy poses with just about anything and anyone on the streets. Nikki, full blooded Davaoeño, born and raised in Davao by Davaoeño parents, couldn’t help but be amazed at how festive Kadayawan has become – it was his first time to actually be on the streets during the festival.

kahit KALABAW di pinalampas nila Shiva!

GABI NG PARANGAL – Already mentioned a bit about our main Kadayawan night in the last entry so here’s some additional info. We sang our hearts’ out when LINGER was played by one of the front act bands during UpDharmaDown’s concert. We had our individual reasons, which were not a secret to anyone in the group (hehehe), for singing it full of emotions. We sang along to the UpDharma songs we knew and couldn’t be more proud that the bassist was the baby brother of a good friend. Thanks to the 2 bottles of Tequila, paid for by Mike Juan, Ninin and Jerry Jose (if I’m not mistaken, basta I’m sure I didn’t pay for it,hehehe) we had enough, and to some more than enough, booze to keep us on a Kadayawan high. People who had more than enough booze, also known as Shiva and Ninin, were on their utmost high – Shiva sang or more like uttered the lyrics, “Princesa” with one of the local bands while Ninin tried to begin her matchmaking career by trying to set up Ian (UpDharma’s drummer) with me and with Ate Tatit. One boy with 2 girls because “Good Friends are willing to share Boytoys/Boylets.”

"do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger?!"

FREE BEER – Eto na Ate Anj! - After the concert we all decided to hit MTS (Matina Town Square) for some coffee or beer to wash all the hard liquor we drank. Tostar, the yearly fundraising event of TAU MU Fraternity and Sorority, was being held in the parking lot of MTS – 150Php drink all you can beer. But my good college friend, Pie, is the current President so there was no need to discuss any entrance fee, we didn’t even need to enter the event.

KANG – “Psst Pie! Gusto ko ng beer, nakarami kami ng Tequila eh.” (common friend and law student Darrel was passing by holding a pitcher of beer)
PIE – “Oh ba, dami dyan oh. Bakit ngayon ka lang? Lasing na baya ako.”
KANG – “Ako di pa man. Punta muna ako sa aking friends sa Blugre ha.”
(Darrel passes by near Blugre still holding a pitcher of Beer)
KANG – “Darrel, gusto ko niyan ba.”
DARREL (very much drunk) – “O sure..” (leaves the pitcher and a glass with us)
KANG – “Kunan mo pa akong mga 4 na glass ha. Thank you!”
(Darrel comes back with 4 plastic cups and a fresh pitcher of beer)

*salamat sa blog ni Shiva at Ina para sa mga litrato

intro to kadayawan

2006-08-29T16:38:00.000+08:00

Feel guilty already for not posting anything about Kadayawan. And as Ate Anj said, work is not an excuse, but really it is my excuse. And the fact that because so much happened during my trip home to Davao that I don't know which story to tell first.

If you haven't been to Davao, you might want to schedule it during Kadayawan - the festival of festivals! But actually, anytime in Davao is fun and festive time especially if your friends are as fun and crazy as mine. Ok, maybe just half as crazy would do too, mine are pretty crazy eh.hehehe

These 2pics should do for now - UpDharmaDown concert! That night was a good night!

full support to Ate Ray Yap's brother, the bassist Pol Niño! But those who were there that night know I was also cheering for another band member..hehehe!

we served as Pol's sisters!(Ate Anj, me and Ate Tatit) Ayos!

Bindum, Bukidnon - August 2006

2006-08-17T10:42:00.000+08:00

It’s a lot different.

The many times I have visited my JVP area, after my year of service, came as breeze. The first one was filled with much excitement; it was only a few months after I left. New JVPs were there but it still felt a lot like it was still my JVP year and I was in my JVP area. The few visits that followed were official ones for the central office. There was always somebody there whom I needed to meet and to discuss things with. Infrastructures developed/changed, but no major alterations. A year and a half ago I was with some other former Bindum JVPs for a recollection of some sort. But we still knew most of the kids in the Adagi Balay (scholars of the institution), only a few of our students decided to stop school or got married or had children. The staff we worked with was also there because they were either still working for ESSC or were there for the closing ceremonies of the school.

August 12, 2006 – even with tons of work already piled up, I decided to pack a few things, shop a little for pasalubong for the kids and ride a bus to Malaybalay. By 1PM I was on my way up to Bindum, both excited and for some reason, nervous.

DELAI, our ANGEL. Since it’s been long since I last visited, I felt nervous taking the mini bus/jeep to St.Peter and not knowing how much the fare was and if there truly was a good habal-habal driver who can take me up to Bindum. My trusted driver from my JVP years was based in Zamboanguita but PJ (former Bindum JVP herself who visited only last March) advised me to ride from St.Peter so I was all the more confused. Less than a kilometer away from Zamboanguita, one of the jeep’s tires blew. We had to wait for about 30 minutes for the changing of tires. Nearing Zamboanguita proper, I heard a familiar voice – young girl suddenly pops out of nowhere and shouts “Ninang Kang!” She was baptized during my JVP year and she asked me to be her godmother. She is now in 1st year HS in Zamboanguita. Delai asked if she could tag along and I gladly allowed her. Good thing she did, it was good to catch up and it truly turned out that there was no staff up there (Kuya Eric wasn’t kidding when he said no one would be up there). Moreover, none of the Adagi Balay kids were my former kids, a few faces were familiar but I can’t even remember their names.

I LOVE YOU PARTNER. I’m still here in Bindum, today is August 13. Not one of the staff has gone back up yet. When I decided to go up I was confident that it’s ok to visit without any staff being here, after all I didn’t know most of them anymore. And I knew most of the Inay’s and Amay’s in the area so I can easily go around and talk to people. But it’s only 1PM and I’ve already visited all the Inay’s I wanted to see, all the kids I wanted to talk to and even ate “kamote” already… I’ve been missing my JVP partner Elaine since yesterday. Much as I was delighted by Delai’s company and her stories, I also wanted to have someone to share my stories and feelings with. I needed someone who can truly relate. And because my going up wasn’t for a meeting and official visit, it didn’t feel complete without Leyn with me. Eating kamote just wasn’t as funny, the rain wasn’t as extraordinary, bonding with the kids wasn’t as necessary. But I had to go back into thinking that it’s ok, last night was for Delai and her one year worth of stories. But after lunch, she had to go back to Zamboanguita in time for school tomorrow, so I miss Leyn even more. Maybe because the kids are a bit shy, most are young ones so they don’t talk to new people like me as much as the scholars during our time did. I look outside from the new “dorm” for scholars, and I can still say that Bindum is so much still my home. I still feel very much feel at home here, but it isn’t so home without Leyn here. Maybe, perhaps, I guess, because it was the 2 of us here for 10 months who battled with our homesickness and tests at work; who struggled with loneliness, new food and new dialect; who fell a couple of times riding the habal-habal or fell on the way to Pulangi River; who drank Tanduay and Coke almost every night; who sang songs to drive our sorrows away; who washed our clothes in the company of mosquitoes; who endured the cold night and cold water for bath; who prayed together to make it each day – it was the two of us who painted a JVP year that made Bindum so much of a home and a paradise. I wish Leyn was here.

The Adagi Balay kids are singing, new songs mostly. I guess they are more updated now than 5 years ago. A number of my students aren’t here anymore because they are down in Zamboanguita for their high school education. A good number are back in school in APC(our school up in Bindum, now a recognized Indigenous People’s Elementary School), most in Dawegs D, E and G (that’s Grades 4,5 and 6). Some of my students have transferred homes while very few are sadly, married and have kid/s already. Actually, very few, most of those who are married are actually Leyn’s students since she taught Young Adults during our JVP year.

Things are really different. Atiyu Balay (home to 5 Batches of JVPs) is no more; it now serves as the livelihood center. And the used to be livelihood center is now the “dorm” for the ESSC scholars. Inay Grace now has her own sari-sari store. The balcony (where I used to scream away, in silence, my disappointments over my slow students) at the back of the school does not exist anymore. Two rooms were built at the back of the school, one serves as the library and the other as a classroom for kinder students. This is my JVP area in August 2006.

bit of nostalgia

2006-08-08T17:48:00.000+08:00

I used to go gaga over TAKE THAT. I just love MARC OWEN (smallest member but really the most adorable one). Until they disbanded, mainly because of Robbie Williams. I never liked him, he was too "yabang" for me. And I didn't find him that handsome. He had charms but he wasn't that good looking. The worst part, after they disbanded he ended up having the best solo career. To think he was the one who did drugs, who didn't pull his weight, etc.etc. Kainis!

They sort of had a reunion which was featured at Star World last Sunday. I just couldn't help but really miss them and sing the songs I used to sing. They were the biggest boyband of those times, way before Backstreet and NSync and best part, they weren't Americans! And on the day of the reunion itself, Robbie doesn't show up. Ugh! Bad, bad, bad..He still is the badboy in the group.

turbulence it is

2006-07-27T17:34:00.000+08:00

I left Manila for Davao last Monday afternoon - the day of the SONA, the day of Miss Universe (it had slight of relevance to me because my highschool friend is the Philippine Representative), and the day when typhoon Glenda hit the Metro.

Last Monday afternoon I suddenly remembered how dangerous it is to travel. We had to wait 20 mins before we could take off because 1) A lot of other planes were landing and 2) the wind and the rain just decided to be really strong when we were already about to take off.

The plane was literally swaying, for awhile I felt dizzy. I couldn't enjoy reading Shopaholic ties the Knot while eating Holy Kettle. Darn it! I had to stop and actually found myself holding on to the arms of my seat. I was a bit afraid, I have to admit. The turbelence/s weren't really long, they lasted about a minute or 2. But they were strong,we were really shaking, and we felt numerous times. Last time I rode a plane with that much turbulence was on my way to Manila some 6-7 years ago. Incidentally it was the first Cebu Pacifif flight from Davao after the devastating plane crash in Mt.Lumot in Cagayan de Oro City. But as I began to recall that while still inside the plane,I stopped telling myself that, it was too morbid and I was scaring myself more.

About 45 mins after take off, the sky was clearer and the sun was out. I guess we were already somewhere in Visayas... And soon after, flight attendant announced our final descent to Davao. I got the best Welcome Home Banner ever! Mt.Apo was in all its glory and the sun was already beginning to set. Jerry (Jose) was right, Apo has always been very nice to me. Always gives me the best view when I'm in town.

Haliparot talaga si Apo! hehehe

writing again

2006-07-18T10:38:00.000+08:00

I opened my notebook again, and began this short story. But will I ever finish this one? I began writing so many stories, some I'd like to think are novels but I never really finished them. This one's another beginning and I must admit, very personal.hmmm

Gotta hate Dorothy!

2006-07-12T22:50:00.000+08:00

Like a scene from a soap opera – she opened the main door of their house and only the main knob was locked. Dishes are in the sink, so she washes them first. She goes to her room and cleans up a bit, packs up a little. She looks at her notes on what else to bring to the new place they are staying at. Not all can go with her, not just yet. Just the important things they need.

Almost done, she looks around. And she knows, things are not the same, things will never be the same. Although the place hasn’t been home for a long time, it was still hers- it was theirs, it was comfortable, but not anymore. She knows that she will never go back there the way she did before - when she worked until weary hours of the morning and sleep until noon; when she still did her laundry there; when she opted to stay there and do a DVD marathon and let her work wait. She will not even spend more than half day in that house and perhaps never at night because it is too dark. It’s too dark, literally and figuratively.

Tears are in the corner of her eyes. Good thing the dogs were barking, they reminded her she must feed them. She stands up, gets on with packing, takes a deep breath. Dorothy had to be oh so right, darn it!

He's my McDreamy first!

2006-06-22T10:49:00.000+08:00

I love Patrick Dempsey! I have loved him since I was in elementary. I went crazy over "Can't Buy me Love" and "Happy Together." I guess my mom really liked him because she borrowed all those BETA(so 80s!) tapes.

I'm such an 80's kid! I believe I was 6 or 7 years old when Patrick Dempsey was a matinee idol, and I swear he was already my favorite. Ask my sisters! I was so young and can't understand why I really liked him, but I did. Haaay... He was sooo my MCDREAMY way before all of America decided he'll be theirs.hahaha!

I still love him now. I go crazy over Grey's Anatomy. I have seen season 1 and 2 about thrice already, buti na lang may pirated DVDs!hahaha. I can't wait for season 3. And it brings back old desires to become a doctor. And that's the not so good part because I'm seriously rethinking about pursuing med.ha!

Manang na kung Manang

2006-06-22T10:39:00.000+08:00

I’m sorry, but I guess I was born with a strong sense of being conservative. Actually, I make no apologies for being conservative, I actually think it’s one of the best values/attitudes taught to me by family, for the most part by my grandparents.

I’m trying hard to work here in starbucks but this group of students (freshies if I’m not mistaken) has made it impossible for me to do so. I have my earphones on, listening to music and trying my best to work but they are just sooo loud! I don’t need to eavesdrop to hear their conversation, they are practically shouting.

They are even more irritating because of the following facts:

Ø There are like 8-9 of them (1 or 2 leaves then somebody replaces them), and they only ordered 2 pieces of doughnuts. Hello! Pakapalan?! They are conquering a big space in the café, taking in the cold air, sharing the oxygen and they don’t even have the decency to order more? I seriously propose to all coffee places to require customers to have a ratio of 1order/2people to be allowed to stay in the place for more than an hour. Unless, they should be asked to either leave or order more…

Ø Ok, I get it that I have no control over public places, (but you just wait, when I become President, I’m soooo going to control level of noise in public places even if it takes dictatorship!) but do we really have to speak so loud? I mean, there’s just 8 of you, you are not giving a talk to a group of 25 people. And didn’t their parents or teachers ever teach them about sensitivity to other people in public places? They are not the only ones in the place and they don’t own it (I’m sure they don’t, they only ordered 2 doughnuts for crying out loud!)

Ø This young girl, the one nearest to me is the one of the most “haliparot, talipandas” young girls I’ve ever seen. Get this, all of them practically met each other today (I told you they were shouting), the girls have long been friends and so are the guys, and when the mother of the boy she’s flirting with called, she actually shouted, “hi tita! This is ___ girlfriend.” Duh?! (by this time they already left --- THANKGOD, FINALLY!) And all the time they were there, she was asking all these questions to the boy and giving him her number, advising him to shift from smart-globe for unlimited texting purposes, asked for their picture to be taken, viewed the picture and practically screaming, “bagay kami noh?!” The best of it all was this, by 630ish the boy excuses himself and tells everyone he has to go home, haliparot girl asks-“ha? It’s early pa, gimmick muna tayo? Why do you have a curfew?” Argghh! Talk about being desperate! I was practically screaming in my head and I so wanted to reprimand the young girl like I would to my younger cousins. Thank God she’s not my cousin or I would pulled her hair and dragged her out of that café. ANG LANDI-LANDI, DIYOS KO PO! It’s only the 1^st day of school in college, no need to hurry.

Can’t get over that young girl, I just understand how our young girls think these days. I don’t mean to be judgmental but I really don’t like how the young girls here in Manila are trying hard to be oh so grown up and oh so liberated and oh so aggressive. What’s the rush? And all the time and money spent for those clothes and makeup, hay, such a waste.

Amy just stepped in to return my Grey’s Anatomy DVDs because Tetet hasn’t seen it yet. Amy by the way is the youngest sister of my very good friend Pie. Amy’s in 4^th year college now and trying to recover from the group of youngsters, I suddenly remembered how Amy used to be that small little girl we sometimes made fun of. She was in Grade1 when we were in 2^nd year highschool, the first year Pie and I became friends. Oh she’s all grown up, and honestly speaking, I’m proud of the young lady that she is now. I remember Tita Alma, her mom, telling me to take care of her when she was still in 1^st year here in Manila since I was already working for JVP then. I didn’t need to be a strict ate with Amy, she was well raised. Although slightly kikay and slight shopaholic, Amy studies first and has never been that aggressive with boys.

“Ate, akyat ka muna (in their condo at Prince David) andyan sila Mama. Nagaluto siya ng kare-kare, dun ka din daw magdinner.” Amy says.

Shutting down my computer and heading for the home cooked meal. Plus, I intend to share all my manang angsts to Tita Alma.

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At dinner Tita Alma tells me – “Hay, bitaw. Lahi ra dyud mga dalaga ngayon Kang, labaw na diri (in Manila). Better pa din in Davao.”

(wrote this last Monday, June 19)

Delayed Makabayan Blues

2006-06-13T17:24:00.000+08:00

Excerpts from my reflection points which I'll email my boss regarding our Study on Spirituality of Integrity. I can't email the entire article, it's too long, it might bore you.

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I was once asked to write for Simbahang Lingkod ng Bayan’s newsletter, SILBI, on good and bad governance. It was linked to the video I was working on for Ehem! I come to realize though that even if it was written more to promote the video that we are about to release to aid Ehem! seminars, it was still very much influenced by my other work as a researcher and project coordinator for Spirituality of Integrity. I begin to ponder more on the following paragraphs I wrote for the said article:

“It has to start with a bit of care for the country, with a little love for our respective communities.
With the current state of the country, there should be no room for apathy in every Filipino. It is our responsibility to be informed and to do something good about the information that we get and we know. It is our responsibility to be non-complacent – to demand for a government which we know is just and is working for the common good. However, along with demanding and keeping a tight watch to secure transparency in our leaders, we are equally demanded to work with our leaders toward that progress which we want.
Mediocrity, as well, should neither be tolerated nor encouraged in the various sectors in society. “Pwede na yan” attitude should be barred in the quality of education given to and demanded from our students; should be prohibited in the services offered in the city hall and other government agencies; should be banned in the manufacturing of products, whether local or not, for trade and industry; and should never be allowed in the field of medicine. Innovation and excellence is to be demanded in every Filipino.”

---
Love of family is one the main dimensions of integrity that was mentioned by our participants and key informants. Some, most of them parents, even went to the extent of taking note that children play an important role in trying to influence the older generation to live a life of integrity. For how would a parent react if his/her child questions the origin of their wealth despite the fact that they know he is only earning little from his work as councilor or police officer?

I do place a lot of belief in the noted points of all our participants and key informants with regard to Integrity. I agree with the various dimensions that came out in the FGRs and individual consultations. Some of my personal views regarding integrity and public service were resonated by life and work experiences of participants who were and are public servants.

In a way however, it feels like there’s something missing, or that there is something more that ought to be there, in the results of the FGR. I wonder where our love of country is in all of these?

The love for family is a given. As Filipinos our close family ties has always been present in most of our choices. Blood, almost always, is thicker than water and sometimes the consequences are unpleasant. We stick with our relatives even when we know they are wrong or they did something bad. Without questions, we side with our parents and children because we believe we know them best since we live and grew up with them. We try to cover up for the mistakes they did so they’d escape possibility of jail or death.

But how does love of family correlate with love of country? When our kin has committed an offense against a greater majority, against our nation for example, which side do we choose? When we know that our relative’s action created so much injustice, do we still let him go and help him escape the consequences of his actions simply because s/he is family? When we know for a fact that the money spent for the food on our table is the taxpayer’s money, do we genuinely get full and nourished?

We seem to have lost our capacity to truly be nationalistic and show our love for our country. Our life choices seem to have been influenced so much by our personal needs and wants without a tinge of effort to think about the needs of our nation and people in general. “Common Good” is like alien jargon to some of us when we choose to throw garbage on the streets, drive a smoke belching car, cut off trees irresponsibly, choose to buy only imported products and never the ones locally made, and worst when we choose to steal the money that is intended for projects for our schools or baranggays or our whole district.

Enough Alone Time

2006-05-09T10:53:00.000+08:00

Is it because I had so much company and out of town trips last Month that I feel so alone the past 2 weeks? Maybe. Because I just turned 24, I’d like to blame quarterlife crisis as well. Working for almost 6 years now, having 4 different jobs and living in 3 different places makes me think a lot about my life and the choices I have made and are making. And oh yes, my current job should take a lot of responsibility in why I’m feeling so alone. After all I do not exactly have an officemate and an actual office place. All I have is my computer and my cellular phone to aid me in my work.

The confusing part about trying to blame my work is I like my job, I really like it. The opportunity to work for my country by actively taking part in the combat against corruption has been one of my beautiful blessings. Even when I was still in college, I knew that I wanted my future job/s to be something that would help my country, whether directly or indirectly. My college friends tell me I’m nationalistic, and I am proud to be one. I love our country and I’d grab any chance to help in nation rebuilding.

But I guess every now and then, like these past few weeks, my being a people person gets back to me. I never saw myself being a researcher and spending most of my working hours inside a library – much more a Theology library! I love Theo and there are times when I see myself teaching Theo of Liberation on the side, but to consider a library of it as my workplace never really crossed my mind. I am a communication arts graduate afterall, I need all mediums available to send my views and messages across. You can’t exactly talk in a library – the silence can be deafening.

When I was still working for JVP Central Office, I used to take breather; all by myself walks every now and then. Formation and volunteer monitoring work can be toxic and walking around ADMU helped release some of the tensions at work. My walks took me to Gesu or to the caf, most of the time to the chapel to hear mass. I appreciated the alone time, the alone walks. I remember excusing myself from work to walk around because I needed it, I needed alone time so badly.

The past days though, I’ve been missing having officemates. I miss having someone to talk to about the TV show I was watching last night. I miss having someone to complain about work with. Boy do I miss the community singing with Ate Trina and Ate Crissy! I miss bringing food for workmates and having automatic lunchmates. I miss planning Friday or Saturday gimmicks with officemates. (Wait, I don’t think I really go out anymore. This new job just made social life doubly difficult. haha!) It’s no longer fun not having a workplace to go to from Mondays-Fridays. I do appreciate the no strict time in and time out, but I’d wake up early for a sure place to work in. I miss having a fax machine 4 steps away from my worktable and having unlimited internet access on the computer I’m using for work. For the most part, I think I just miss talking (hehehe). The past 6 months have been torture for a talkative person like me.

I just think I have had enough alone time, enough alone walks and trips to last me a lifetime. Okay, that’s an exaggeration, perhaps enough to last me a year or two.

Mountains and Beaches

2006-05-09T10:33:00.000+08:00

March-April was a series of out of town trips-both for work and pleasure - Couldn’t complain about that

PARACELIS - We finally went back to Paracelis, Mt.Province last March17 to shoot the final leg of the Ehem! Video. Paracelis is such a hot municipality. Wish I could show you the sandal marks on my feet but because I’ve been traveling a lot lately, Paracelis cannot be blamed as the sole culprit for them. I also don’t have so much pictures since Kuya Chito (our videographer) hasn’t given me a copy of our pics yet. Trip was mainly for work but it was “byahe” nonetheless so it was a much appreciated trip.

Worth Mentioning – B, our Production Manager, fell off a pilapil on the way back from the falls we went to. It was such a scare! Good thing nothing major happened to her. It was a terrible thing to happen to someone especially if you have a crew who shows their love to you with their “pang-aalaska and panunukso.” Two weeks after though, B got one of the best news ever – she passed the bar!

(one of the controversial irrigation sites in Paracelis)

VANISHING ISLAND- Meron pala nun sa Davao? I actually didn’t know we had one until my highschool friends, Ella and Jang invited me to go there. It was a good swim, snorkeling trip. Davao is such a tease! New beach to discover and fun time with old friends was a simple reminder why Davao will always be home.

Worth Mentioning – Riding the Philippine Navy’s speedboat is so cool! But I will never do it again, not when it entails going to their main camp and having the entire troop look at you and your friends. (Thought Balloon – ilang buwan kasi silang nasa barko lang, kelan kaya sila huling nakakita ng mga babae?)

PUNTA FUEGO, BATANGAS – April18-19 trip to Punta Fuego with beloved Kuya Gil,SJ was supposed to be postponed for the 24^th. But summer class was about to begin and Kuya won’t be able to join us if the date will be moved so we had to push through. Barely 4hours in Manila (April17), I had to coordinate with Ate Maita to make sure we would go hit the beach the next day. I arrived at 9AM Monday, by 7AM the following day I was on my way out of Manila already. Talk about being such a “layas!”

Worth Mentioning – Kuya was all proud of the new arena goggles he got on Sale. In fairness, it was a good pair. Bagong bago and all… He left it on the shower of Terrazas de Punta Fuego though. This was after we reminded him twice to check the lockers. Tsktsktsk!! Pity naman si Kuya.

SAGADA – Yes, finally! Ate Norie and I have always wantedto go to Sagada since I moved here in Manila 4 years ago. After much planning and coordination we finally found the perfect date and company to go to Sagada. Thea, Ate Ray, Ate Mayette, Ate Reg, Ate Trina, Ate Jerlie, Ate Norie and I left for Bontoc April 27, 830PM. Yippee! April 28-May1 was marked as the Sagada weekend. Sagada scenery was just breathtaking (yes, also because of the walks we had to do, hehehe).

In one of my conversations with Ate Ray, during that arduous hike from the Big Falls, I told her I can’t really decide if I were a mountain person or a beach person. But I’m strongly leaning on being a mountain person. One reason I think is the color green which abound a good mountain area. Green is just so refreshing in the eyes. Another is the cool winds especially late in the afternoon and at night. Knowing that the wind is actually clean compared to the polluted air of the city is a bonus. Perhaps it’s the height too, being on top (not just because I’m so competitive and I like the feeling of being on top!). Being on higher ground gives me a wider perspective of what’s out there- what’s below. It’s an opportunity to see places, people and activities all at the same time. Being on top of a mountain just can’t take out the feeling of being closer to heaven -“yung parang nahahawakan mo na ang langit.” The serenity of a mountain’s peak gives the feeling of being closest to God.

Worth Mentioning – I had my first taste of marijuana in Sagada and I didn’t even know it. Darn it! One of the restaurant’s we ate in had a Chef notorious for drugging people through pastries he bakes himself. So night before hitting the big falls all of us couldn’t sleep, had heavy heads and some even had weird dreams and hallucinations.

(sorry no pictures of the beaches yet, the infrared of my computer's busted)

holy week byahe

2006-04-15T18:26:00.000+08:00

Ate Angie, Ate Tatit and Jerry left for Marinduque a day before Holy week began. I was jealous not being able to join them in traveling to a new place over the break. After all, I am a self-confessed “Batang Layas.” Moreover, Marinduque has become such an interesting place ever since I learned more about the Moriones Festival’s – Longinos more particularly – relation to anticorruption, Longinos being a whistleblower and a man of integrity.
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We have this family/religious tradition every Maundy Thursday where we do Bisita Iglesia with 2 of our grandmothers (my mother’s mother {mama} and her sister {lola auntie}). I missed it last year since I had to spend holy week in Manila preparing for JVP Batch25’s yearend seminar. I could never get myself to go visit churches in Manila, there’s too much traffic to battle with.

It was a little past 4 when we picked up Mama from their house; an hour late from our scheduled, 3PM Bisita Iglesia. My mom overslept and Tetet (my sister) couldn’t take her eyes off 24season4. After picking up Lola Auntie, we started our visits at St.Paul’s in Matina where Lola Auntie is an active member of the parish. Then, we did our usual route of from Northmost churches to Southernmost.

There’s something refreshing about going to churches on a Maundy Thursday; No church is not filled with people. Families, young couples, children, parish workers, lay ministers are seen inside and outside the church. St. Paul’s Cathedral was overflowing with people since Mass was just about to begin when we got there. In our 3rd church, at the Carmelite Sister’s, I noticed that another family was doing their church rounds too since I saw them at the last church we visited. Fried peanuts and garlic overwhelm the outside of the churches and reminded me of childhood days when we used to always eat peanuts after Sunday mass.

Yes, one can pray with God anytime of the day and wherever one is. The top of the mountain makes a person feel closer to God; the serenity of the beach creates an atmosphere of silence with the Lord; a vacation in a foreign land reminds a person to be appreciative of his own land and to dream of finer things for his own country. But personally, a prayer inside the church, where there is that expected silence for one to truly converse with the Lord – when it seems like you are talking to God face to face – when all that you are, all your senses are but centered to doing one thing and one thing alone which is to pray, is the best prayer of all. When I do my personal and quiet prayer, I feel a certain kind of peace and solitude despite being in the middle of the city.

There is still a part of me that wishes I was out some place new, some place exciting and worth discovering. But the trip from one church to another, completing the expected number of churches to visit, has been a memorable journey too. Now that my sisters and I are all grown up and seemed to have lives of our own, this is one of those few times of the year that we get to spend quality time with our grandmothers, obedient in everything they ask.

Personally, this is the time of the year when I’m reminded that my reverence for God and my Faith in the Lord, and in Catholic traditions are things I truly got from home. For although I’m quick in packing my bags if there’s an invitation for any kind of travel, on holy week, I find myself not truly enjoying, remembering Christ’s passion and stopping to pray on Good Friday up to Black Saturday.

Easter awaits!

Frustration and Excitement

2006-04-02T00:21:00.000+08:00

No! ibook above isn't mine, a huge part of me wishes it's mine though. It's my boss' (Fr.Albert's) who is out of town until April 9.

I almost bought one myself - correction, I almost had my sister buy me one (ibook g4) when i tripled check it's WIWICness (WIWIC stands for Worth What it Costs - can't remember who exactly made it, but wiwic is an original Sonza sisters' shopping word) with my "computer person" friends and in the FinalCut Pro (editing program) book, and realized processor isn't fast enough. I'd rather wait for the time, even if it takes forever, when I can atleast afford a G5.

Admittedly, I was super excited over getting a new laptop. "Pampalubag-loob" over the fact that I'm postponing climbing Mt.Apo for the nth time! I told myself it'll be ok to just stay at home because I will have a new toy anyway. I was already imagining myself practicing final cut in it - editing documentaries and indie movies in it, adding audio effects, etc.etc. So imagine how heartbroken I was when I maturely decided not to get the computer?! I told a few of my other friends - I was so heartbroken that I realized I'm such a geek sulking so much over a gadget I couldn't have than over a boy I couldn't have. (hahaha!)

Blessing in disguise - Fr. Albert bought one for himself. Since I knew he was leaving for Manila and won't be back until April 10, I volunteered to tinker and play with it. I'm adding programs I'm sure Father will need and programs I'm sure I will "need." hehehe. So I don't have my OWN new toy, who cares?! I have one I can still play with.

Countdown for coming back home here in Davao is on! 2months beginning today (April 1) - can't wait for June! What's even more exciting is I might already begin teaching this summer, before the Holy Week and a few days after , before I leave for Manila to begin editing of anticorruption video. . . Paano nangyari yun?! The poor incoming 4th year MASSCOM students required to make documentaries this summer didn't get enough background to equip them. I mean they didn't even have Basic Photography/Cinematography or atleast 3 lighting system. I haven't confirmed yet, but I doubt if they were able to take sequence treatment and storyboard classes sometime in their 3 years of studying. Over the past 2 years, the masscom department has been crazy, losing teachers one after the other. Serious damage control is required to give the students the education they deserve. Ateneo de Davao has high-tech video and editing equipment but if their students don't know the basics, they'll produce mediocre masscom graduates who are most probably incapable of producing their own documentaries and films! (I know it doesn't follow that all masscom grads should do documentaries, but if they had one summer to learn it, then it should be expected that when they graduate, they all know how to do it.) They can't all be editors - who will conceptualize, brainstorm? who will write? who does the production management and legwork? who will be the line producer, the director, the prod. assistant during shoot proper? Hay!

From casual conversations with Sir Bong and a student, it sounds like there is so much to do with so little time to do so. But I'm so game to help out, so game to take the challenge!

MOBILE “BYAHE” THOUGHTS

2006-03-28T13:51:00.000+08:00

*On MUSIC

PENAFRANCIA BUS LINE to NAGA (Jan2006) - Pinoys are really musically inclined. Last Monday at Café Brexton, while having coffee and dessert with JVP Batchmates Pat & TQ, I caught one waiter singing along a Piolo Pascual (I think) song… Just this PM (McDonald’s AliMall), intro/instrumental of a song started playing and suddenly, the guy at the next table broke into the song.. “My morning starts to shine…” And in the exact Kyla tune/version.It was funny.

ISABELA to CABANATUAN (Mar2006)– Our butts were just aching so hard- mine, Kuya Chito’s (our videographer) and Bugsy’s (production manager from Jescom). We came down from the rough road of Paracelis to Santiago Isabela. We searched for a furniture shop before heading to Chowking to grab some merienda (Halo-Halo) because estimated travel time to Cabanatuan is 4 hours. It meant, late dinner at 10pm. ..A bit bored from the site of Trucks on the road and vast rice fields, we decided to just sing random songs. We went from Lani Misalucha hits, to Ogie Alcasid songs, to Eraserheads classics. We widened our choices into thinking of songs Kuya Chito and I would sing in duet. Around an hour after, we can’t think of any more songs. So Kuya Chito grabbed his IPOD and we looked into more songs to sing. 4GB of MP3s, it was impossible not to find a song to sing to. Oh life would be so boring without music; travels wouldn’t be complete without community singing and trips would be less fun without one person in the van jokingly complaining about a travelmate singing out of tune.

*On PHOTOGRAPHY

MCDONALD’s NAGA (Jan2006) - My favorite subject has always been – People. Way back in high school, I used to have tons of pictures of my classmates. A lot of Bianca’s, one of my younger cousins – now 10 years old and recently cried over signs of getting her first monthly period, baby pictures were taken by me. Today I remembered an anecdote I once found in Lualhati Bautista’s Dekada `70 (I wrote in my college organizer) – “Sayang, di naka-capture ng potograpiya ang larawan ng mga isip at pakiramdam. Kung para man lang pagdating ng tao sa hukuman ng buhay ay may maipakita siyang ebidensiya ng kaligayahan niya o kawalan nito.” I think this is still very true. Kaya din siguro wala na ako masyadong ganang kumuha ng litrato ng mga tao. Because it feels as if I am robbing them of their stories, of the real stories behind their laughter/smile, or behind their tears. Ok lang if family or good friends, but of ordinary people on the street, ang hirap.

CATARMAN,SAMAR (Jan2006) – Even of places pala, di lang people. I wrote in my journal the first time I went to Catarman.. “Catarman is a wonderful place. I believe it is an epitome of how beautiful the Philippines is. Ang ganda-ganda niya! And I couldn’t even bring myself to take so much pictures of it because I feel and I think photographs won’t give Catarman justice.”

or are they (davao city)

2006-03-02T21:47:00.000+08:00

On the other hand, why do I feel that I am not totally “ok.”

I’ve been thinking, is it because I’ve been too excited to go home that I have failed to really see and ponder on the many things that have been happening before me - that is happening to my country?

Inside a jeepney, on the way home, my mind wandered on the lightness that I was feeling being home. Away from the bustling and dirty streets of Metro Manila, my heart seems to be at rest. Aside from being in a bit of a panic for the focus group discussion next week, there is no other weight that I feel. Is it really because I’m home? I realized though that the lightness actually came way before I got home here in Davao. To link it with being at home doesn’t seem to be reason enough… I pause, as a bit of fear suddenly came into me. It cannot be right, it just couldn’t be.

Have I actually gone beyond cynical and finally fell in the trap of hopelessness, despair, and apathy - of simply not caring anymore?

With the declaration of the State of Emergency last Friday, I was first confused – in a way a little disappointed but there was no anger. There was no fuming desire to get an explanation right away. Yes, I was shocked with how the events were turning; I was appalled by the warrantless, and to me pointless, arrests. I had mixed emotions, but as I look back now it was so mixed that there wasn’t one prevailing emotion that I truly felt; I wasn’t chiefly worried - for the safety of the people and of the economic industry; I wasn’t mainly angry for what seemed like a baseless declaration of state of emergency; I didn’t feel like crying out of utmost frustration in the system of governance in our country. Yes, to a certain extent, I was devastated but apparently not enough to move me into doing a more concrete action out of what I was feeling. It didn’t move me into taking a stand.

Paksyet! (I remember Sheila Coronel’s article on Rage tuloy) – Have I actually lost the capacity for Nationalistic Rage? For a rage that demands action - - - that something has to be done? Where is that passion? Nasaan ang Libog?Ano na nga ba ang ginagawa ko at gagawin ko pa?

Haay…Mahaba-haba at komplikadong pagdarasal ito ngayong gabi. Di na ako aasang makakatulog ng maaga.

things are "ok"

2006-03-02T14:00:00.000+08:00

While talking about graduation in our JVP area in Bindum, Bukidnon, PJ texted - "Random thought Ate Kang, I like your job. I like what you are doing now."

I wondered. And so I asked what made her think that way? You see, I never really had the chance to talk to PJ about my new work. She's busy with school and new work is keeping me away from most people - usually I'm just at the LST library or at the SLB office.

PJ said it's with how I sound in my emails to their batch egroups and in my texts. It's the tone of my short "kwentos" and my needs from them (like asking help for tune,etc.etc.). No direct explanation of what my new job is all about, what I'm really doing - what are its ups and downs, etc. etc.

I smiled, and texted back - "I actually am at peace with my new job. There are many things to be happy about my new work. I feel fulfilled, in a way."...It's not exactly what I planned after I left JVP and Philam, but it's a job that allows me to serve my country in the manner I know I am good at and can be better at.

2006-02-16T11:27:00.000+08:00

I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. It’s too cheesy for me. I strongly believe that it was a mere marketing strategy of Hallmark cards which blew out of proportion. Good for Hallmark that until today, a great number of people still buy the idea and go gaga over celebrating the day.

I am not a fan, but I also don’t curse the event. I admire people who put much effort into how they would celebrate it with their loved ones (most of the time with their romantic loved ones). But sometimes, especially when a few people decide to make the event so grand, I wish their love for individual partners would transcend into loving more people beside their significant others and their respective families.

Anyway…who better to spend Vday with than with boys who really shouldn’t have dates that day and who really should love beyond kin and beyond friends. Plus they are the boys I can easily request/demand to pose in front of the camera.

From TopLeft to Bottom Right – can you feel Kuya Gil’s angsts?; Atoy tries to be serious;with my “officemates” Ryan and Javy – I’m so lucky they always let me use their office; Ryan in one of his pa-cute poses outside SLB; with Ehemmate Weng; with Kuya Gil in our standard pose; and here with Dr./Bro.Atoy

present feeling

2006-02-03T12:58:00.000+08:00

There is an unsympathetic darkness in watching a man you love kill himself slowly.

There is even more sorrow because you can only watch,

there is nothing you can do about it – he doesn’t let you, he won’t let you –

you can’t help him, not anymore.

Your only hope lies in the faith, being challenged by the same situation,

that this is happening for a greater reason – for a bigger purpose.

You also hope that somehow, by some form of miracle, things will be fine;

that All Shall Be Well.

missing the sun(tagaytay,phils)

2006-01-16T13:31:00.000+08:00

I was set to catch the sunset and the sunrise in Tagaytay during the Focus Group Reflection (FGR) I organized for the research I’m doing. But the busy schedule didn’t permit for that to happen.

What was left of the sunset when I remembered to go out of the session hall and sneak out from the group I was observing was this.

I was too tired to get up at 530AM the next day to catch the sunrise. I instead decided to catch more sleep, I needed the sleep more.

some of my big time FGR participants!
Yes that’s Bishop Bacani at the left side of the 1st pic

after a week of average 3-4 hours sleep/day (preparing for the FGD), an hour before event was over, I’m all smiles. (siyempre with my dear kuya cum human “stresstabs”-bro. gil, sj)

the view captured here doesn’t give justice to the place. This was our best attempt in trying to get a pic with a view.

The Luzon FGR’s done, however there still is so much work to do. Data Analysis proves to be a tougher task. And I have to organize another one for Mindanao this coming March. For now I’d like to thank my dear friends who’ve helped me organize the event and helped me keep my sanity.

I thank TQ and the rest of the Quijano family for allowing me to declare TQ’s room as my office every now and then; To my Tagaytay travelmates – Ate Trina, Ate May8, Ate Norie, Ate Jerlie and Mommy TQ (again) – for accompanying me in the ocular inspection of the venue; To the people of the SLB office - Ate Marj, Ryan, Bro. Javie(thanks for giving me one of my best laughs of the year so far), Bro.Jonj,&Bro.Weyms – for the numerous phone and internet use, sa uulitin! To my dependable Kuya Gil, mwah!– mag-regency ka na! I have to get married in less less than 8 years, so you have to be a priest by then (Kailangan din kasi yung di pa naman uugod-ugod si Fr. Mario-hahaha); JVP Office – for the phone use also (I'm such a homeless/officeless person); JVP Babyboy, Noynoy – for helping me with venue details; Ate Pia for the extra recorder; Ms. Liza – my main documentor (kahit ang liit nung sweldo); Chuck for the Videocam; and to all Pinoys who try to live their lives with Integrity and Love for the Country – Thank you for reminding me that despite my difficulties both at work and in my personal life, I am where I am supposed to be!

Imperfect, but all the same-beautiful.

of reunions and work

2006-01-10T17:13:00.000+08:00

I was home in Davao for almost 3 and a half weeks but it felt much faster. Family gatherings and parties made time fly so fast. Work also was in the way since my dear boss is Davao based. I'm quite nervous now(di ata quite rather, very nervous) because a major event for the research we are doing is about to unfold come Thursday and Friday. Bahala na si Lord! (sa nagbabasa- pagdasal mo ako ha, kung mabasa mo before friday)

going back...
I love coming home, simply because it is an opportunity to reunite with family members and old friends. see how happy i am in the following pics

Dec18 gathering with my KAPARIZ friends (wait, Manila pa pala to so this doesn't fall in the category of home gatherings. Bahala na!)

With Oldest Friends (highschool barkada)

with bestfriend Renee

ella and janille

kaming 5. this time with Doc Beauty (in polka dots, how new year!)

College girls

with fae and pie

believe those 3 girls around me (l-r mai, tuchie and may) have children already.
mai and may have 2 each na nga eh. tanda na nila?hahaha

Family, Family, Family!

that's us, new year's eve!

with youngest cousin Vince Griego (he's supposed to be "baba" - batman- in this pic)

we are all in green!

the standard Christmas Eve pose!

Hope your Holidays went well too!

review

2005-12-07T12:23:00.000+08:00

This I haven’t done in a long time…

Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros (****)

If we truly base it on the different elements of a good film (or movie), Maximo is not exactly worthy of 4 stars. But for this particular one, I would like to go beyond my usual scrutiny of a good movie. Normally, you would hear me complain and/or praise about lighting, camera movement and continuity shots. But I will not dwell on those elements because those will not justify the 4 stars rating. I’ll explain a bit later.

First, Maximo is a good movie. To be technically correct, it’s not a good film because it doesn’t use film at all. The camera/s used to shoot the story is a digital camera making it a digital movie. If you’re a meticulous member of the audience, you probably noticed the grainy-pixelated shots somewhere in the middle of the movie. That’s one of the major differences between shooting a movie with a film and shooting with a digital video recorder (For a moviemaker however, the important thing about shooting a movie with a digital camera is that it costs way cheaper than if you shoot with film cameras). So far, no digital camera pixelation is equal to that of a film camera (both for still and moving cameras).

Anyway, back to my rating, Maximo for me is good movie because of a number of reasons. One, the story is simple. Despite the many other issues/realities it presented, it had a clear focus. Sure there was the issue of poverty - of how hard it is to live in the slum area, the issue of stealing – of thieves, and the issue of corruption and of “iskalawags.” They were there as part of the reality surrounding Maxi’s life but it does not forget that the “star/focus” is Maxi and her “pagdadalaga.”

The movie is honest. The lines were not pretentious. They were the very normal/usual in everyday Filipino lives lines. It presented a number of realities just as it is, without any major judgments thus it didn’t become your usual preachy movie. It wasn’t your hardsell typical films that would have actors screaming about morality or ethics, or of life lessons. The honesty and simplicity of the movie had a stronger impact on the audience because rather than just bombarding them with the “supposed answers” to all of their problems, it just aggressively invited them to think of the answers themselves.

Even the issue of the homosexuality was well expressed by the well-written script. The movie did not send the message of tolerance or of discrimination. Ang galing! It was about a “nagdadalagang – bading” but for some reason, at the end of the movie, the viewer would feel that it was about a “nagdadalaga o nagbibinatang (tumatandang) tao or nagsisimulang umibig na tao.”

I guess because it was a low-budget indie movie, we can forgive most of the major lighting problems. Afterall, movie lights are not exactly cheap. What I cannot forgive however are some of the camera movements. For one, the simple shooting while walking. One can practice doing the huge steps and arms first while taking the shot of walking characters so the camera doesn’t bounce. I felt dizzy very early in the movie because of those shots. Two, the drama shot of Maxi’s family when his dad found out that it was one of his brothers who committed the recent murder case. I believe it was supposed to be one of the most dramatic points in the movie. But did we see facial expressions, tears, body movements, etc.? No, because the handheld camera wasn’t able to follow the faces of the characters, instead what we saw was one or 2 of the actors’ clothing, that’s it. It would have been better if they just did a simple one camera on tripod set up, that way the audience could see the actors.

In general, Maximo Oliveros is a good movie. Of course I’m sure it would have been a better one if it had a major production outfit backing it up from the very start. The cinematography would have been improved and the marketing/advertising would have been bigger. Then again, it probably won’t be as honest and as genuine as it is now if it were controlled by a producer who is a businessman above all else.

UltraElectroMagneticJam (Music of the Eraserheads)

E – heads fans unite! Let us sing the songs of our high school/early college days.

I remember during Guru Errol’s birthday, we were obviously “bitin” with our videoke gimmick (we had to leave because most of us were very hungry already- kasama ako dun) that we sang our hearts out inside my sister’s car which had The Best of Eraserheads CD in its stereo. We sang Pare Ko, Sembreak and Toyang with much enthusiasm on the way back to LHS.

My sister bought the “Tribute to Eraserheads” CD produced by JAM 88.3. Basically it has E-heads songs sang by some of the top (and not so top) bands/singers in the country. Even before my sister bought the CD, I’ve already heard some of the songs as I usually listen to 88.3 when traveling, but having a copy of the CD and listening to other people do their own rendition of some of my all time favorite songs in one sitting is just way different.

Listening to the CD made me feel nostalgic. There are a lot memories involved in listening to and singing eraserheads songs. There are the high school Saturday group study/project making cum gimmick; the HS cutting classes to watch Laser Discs (laser disc pa pinaka-cool nun..wahaha!); HS barkada; SIR elementary school tutorials; 1st Yr College Christmas Reach out in Sinuda Bukidnon; the Samahan Central Board office; overnight meetings and group studies; first row CA girls, breakfast at McDonald’s, etc.etc. Haay..

I guess the diversity of the lyrics and tune of their songs made Eraserheads so good. They had songs you can sing and jam with, they had angsty ones when you’re angry at the world, they had love songs (uuuyyy), they had nonsense/funny songs, and yes they had songs on prohibited drugs. They were good and listening to the CD made me question why “artistic differences” is such a big deal they had to disband? {Hehehe, As if I don’t have arguments with my bosses (past and present) when our ideas don’t meet.}

I agree with my sister Tetet that Southborder’s version of With a Smile is an enjoyable one. The R&B feel to it made it sound new and refreshing. It did help that With a Smile is also very positive. I love Brownman Revival, so their Maling Akala performance gets a passing mark from me. Rico J. Puno’s Ang Huling El Bimbo is a cute one too. In as much as I adore Francis M., I have a crush on him and I think he’s the only REAL Filipino Rapper (aside from Gio Alvarez, but his career never really flourished, hahaha), I still prefer the original version of Superproxy. Same goes for Magasin – it didn’t help that it was Paolo Santos who sang it. I sincerely believe Paolo Santos is a great guitar player, that's why he should just focus all his energies and time in even being better at this skill and leave the singing to those who really can.

The various artists version of Para sa Masa is a fitting last song to the album. What can I say, it’s dramatic and it works; Uplifting ending for an album that brings back so many memories and idealisms.

Writing this entry reminded me of my Old website where I used to do film reviews. I was actively updating it when we still had DSL at home and I was just simply studying my MA in UP. In short I had a lot of free time then. I visited it today and it made me laugh!! hahaha. If you have time, I invite you to visit it as well, it tells a lot about me. http://krishnasonza.tripod.com – warning, it's a bit baduy! And vain! hahaha

beginning of... and 2brothers (or 3)

2005-12-01T16:13:00.000+08:00

-------------

…A story? A Script? Insane Thoughts inside the LHS library? I’m not so Sure…

There is nothing that a shower cannot fix. Hot or cold, it doesn’t matter; a shower will make you feel good. The shower will wash out all the dirt of the day – the dust that was consumed from commuting, the mud from the feet after walking along the sidestreets of Bankerohan, the sweat from his hands . . . the blood from the knife.

After one has killed a man, can the shower also wash away the guilt that continuously bothers the conscience? Can the water help rinse the heart which has been covered with severe hatred, fear, anxiety and pain? Will the soap be able to cleanse the soul?

“It will be all right . . . I will be all right.” Hector muttered as the water trickled down his shoulders.

Georgina Ismael, now known as the youngest lawyer to beat Attorney Andres Divinagracia, is still catching her breath after 30 minutes of resting. The last time she really jogged was in college and that was almost 7 years ago. What craziness got into her which convinced her to run tonight is not so sure to her.

She ran and the sweat made her feel good. Wet in her own perspiration, her thoughts ran across the new dress she bought for Pia’s party on Saturday, the new lawyer – John Reyes and his poor knowledge on tax, the case she just won 3 days ago, and the new Ombudsman whom she doubts will be as good and as ethical as the one who just resigned.

On the short drive home, she ended up thinking about Benjie and giving him a call. It has been 5 months after all, she will no longer look like a fool. It wasn’t going to be a desperate call; it will be a friendly hello. She approaches the telephone only to find beside it the post-it her sister, Nica, left some 4 months ago. “Whatever you do, do not call him! Call me instead or call mom, she would like to hear your story. He doesn’t deserve a gorgeous girl like you!” – it read.

A bath or a shower, that’s what Georgina needs. When she and her sister would fight her mother would suggest a warm bath or a cold shower first. “There is nothing a warm bath or a cold shower cannot resolve.”

Before turning on the shower, Georgina begins to think about the other cases she has to attend to now that the tax evasion of Former Congressman Alyana is over. A shower, a bath.

If there is truly nothing that a warm bath or shower cannot resolve, then this country needs a hug bathroom(an enormous or even a 10x giant of a bathroom) for all its problems to take a bath into. She smiles.

(As I wrote this intro, I had Kuya Gil, Ate Mayette, Ate Pia and Ate Trina in mind. And so I invite them, Mga Ates at Kuya,guess sino kayo story?)

------

2Brothers (or 3)

Just a few pictures.

The first set are of Bro.Errol Nebrao,SJ's (or guru for me) "party." Since I couldn't celebrate my mom's birthday with her last Sunday, decided to just celebrate it with Errol. Initially these pictures will just be on 2 jesuit brothers, kaso I also have a picture of my dear Kuya Gil, so decided to include him as well - thus the "or 3."

birthday boy just can't get enough. He checks out the list of songs while singing!

finally guru decides to rest and smiles for the camera. here with Te Mayette and Te Pia

with feelings at ugat talaga Kuya Gil?

The next set is for Bro.Jeff, who I actually am not very close to. Atleast not yet. But since he has found photography to be a helpful tool in developing his, and perhaps others', spirituality I thought of posting the following for him. Take a look at it yourself, it might just invite you to a deeper reflection and prayer as well.

This one I took while investigating on corruption in Paracelis, Mt.Province.

God sees, all the time. God looks after his creation, all the time!

The last 3 I took one day after I visited the church of Gesu. The guard said, the new statue of Jesus that I noticed while I was inside the church, arrived just a day earlier. Bagong-bago.

this is what Jesus is looking at

sunset from Gesu, same day!

quitting and career path

2005-11-24T14:36:00.000+08:00

November 23 – From Fr. Rudy Fernandez, SJ – “Winners know when to quit to fight again another day or another place, when it’s time to let go here and/or now.”

I don’t know, but I refuse to believe him for some reason. A few life circumstances made me feel like such a loser after quitting. I don’t believe the word “quit” is appropriate for a winner, winners never quit. They perhaps rest, research some more, learn more how to fight the battle and eventually stand up from resting and continue the battle.

I am no winner in one of my personal fights. 3 weeks ago, I finally gave up on him. That’s it, no more trying, no more huge efforts, I give up! – There still is praying and a tinge of hope, but I think I’ve done my part. It hurts to finally lose the fight, India Arie couldn’t have said it any better – No one has the power to hurt you like your kin.

I pray and hope though that I may never find myself in the same position, deciding to finally quit and feel that I’ve done my part. I still have so much to learn and so much to do, not only for myself but for others as well. May I always just rest and eventually stand up again to continue each battle.

-----

Simply because I was tagged by Ate Mayette and I thought, why not answer - just for fun.5 Careers I thought I’d pursue when I was kid.

Computer Engineer – That’s what is written in my elementary (grade6) yearbook. I don’t think I even knew what a computer engineer does back then. I think I chose the career because it sounded “cool” and “difficult.” I sure am not a computer engineer right now. But I can trouble shoot few, minor, computer problems. If I can’t, my sis can and if my sis can’t, the computer engineer in SM North can.(hehehe)

Laundrywoman – “I want to be a Labandera.” I believe I uttered those words once in my life. When we were younger, my sisters would tease me that that was my real ambition. I don’t know, perhaps to a certain extent I idolized “Manang Emma,” my grandmother’s laundrywoman. Manang Emma took pride in her work and she was passionate in doing the laundry. I cannot say the same with how I did my laundry in Bukidnon in the 10 months that I lived there. No, I didn’t do my laundry with much pride and passion, I simply did because it was the hygienic thing to do… These days doing the laundry isn’t exactly one of my favorite chores, but I’d take it over dishwashing anytime.

Doctor – The idea of becoming a doctor at 23 excited me when I was in Grade 4. I remember that a good number of my classmates wanted to become a doctor as well (talk about peer pressure). I remember watching ER and truly wanting to become a doctor. But, I just can’t get myself to memorize so much. Those thick science books in high school and college just didn’t persuade me to pursue this dream.

Discovery Channel Traveler – sino bang may ayaw? Get real -- you travel, have fun, learn about the country’s culture, eat different types of food, host and you get paid to do all of that!! I don’t think I need to explain further, right? --- No, I am not and never was a discovery channel traveler but my previous (and current---sometimes lang) job has allowed me to travel. I get to see a lot of my country, the Philippines. (The Department of Tourism should hire me to host a local show here in our country. I’m telling you I’ll be so good at it.hahaha. Ang bilis ko pa man din matuto ng iba’t ibang dialect. Yabang eh?) My travel around the Philippines has deepened my sense of nationalism. It has taught me to appreciate our country even more. “Ang ganda-ganda talaga ng Pilipinas, who would want to leave such a great place” --- my usual line every time I go around the country. Yes the economy is bad, government is filled with dirty politicians, corruption has reached a cancer stage beyond stage 4 but there is so much more to be thankful for. There is so much more that can be done as well. Even when I go out of the country, I find a piece of the Philippines similar or even better than what I see. Actually, I don’t think I really should have explained so much about this dream job – what’s the name of the blog again?

Director (Film, Documentaries or Photography) – It’s hard to explain why, I just really want to become one. I’ve been taking pictures since I was 10 and it has evolved so much over the years. Did I mention I’m enlisted in UP MA in Film? Yeah, I am, but been AWOL for almost 3 years already and honestly I don’t see myself pursuing it. Honestly, I’m in a “dry stage” in terms of taking pictures and doing videography, for almost 2 years now. I don’t know, I once thought I was back, but I lost it easily. “Walang libog,” for some reason, you should have seen me in college until a year after JVP, that was passion at it’s finest... The MA I’m pretty sure I won’t pursue but being a director, now that’s a different story. My new work has asked me to be excited about doing documentaries again (and there might be an MTV too). I’m taking it one step at a time.

(pahabol, this last one I dreamt of when I was in HS. High School doesn’t exactly fall under the category of being a child, but hey I was just 11 then, pwede pa.)

Jesuit! – hahaha! If I were a boy, I probably entered the society (so I can own all the Ateneos,hehehe). I just couldn’t find one that’s really close to the Spirituality and lifestyle the society lives out. Cenacle is closest, but Thea doesn’t exactly recommend it, especially for me. I guess she knows me too well to know that I’d die if required to wear skirt and a cross all the time. Hahaha! Together with some former JVP girls, I am planning to establish a society with “Mateo Sanchez” as our guide. hehehe!

r-e-s-p-e-c-t (kuala lumpur,malaysia)

2005-11-10T19:00:00.000+08:00

In an Indian accent, the tourist guide began his history of Malaysia spiel - “This country is a melting pot of different cultures. As you will see later in the town of Melaka, people of various cultures, traditions and religions lived in harmony with one another. The Indians, for one, have strong influence in this country... The Sultans brought the religion of Islam and they continue to run leadership in the country. The Chinese came here to trade and also brought Confucianism with them… ”

When you go around the city, you will in fact notice that Malaysia is a melting pot of Asian countries. Malay looking (aka Pinoy looking) people do not exactly dominate the scene. On the other hand, you will also notice a lot of Indians and Chinese fleeting around.

Because different races inhabit the country, more particularly in the cities of Kuala Lumpur and Melaka, a tourist will surely notice the variety of culture that surrounds him or her. In one part of the city lies the Chinatown, on the other is the Indian Street. There’s a Mosque beside or in front of the Chinese temple. There’s a Chinese temple looking Mosque not so faraway from the Hindu Temple. And there’s a Catholic Church nearby. Their fashion sense is also a treat for the eyes. Some dress up in modern clothes while a good number still wear their traditional outfits. If the tourist is a bit of a film buff, to her it will seem as if a “bali wood” movie came to life especially when Indian songs are heard inside the mall or a cab.

And I began to think about the tagline “Malaysia, Truly Asia.” I believe, to a huge extent Malaysia is Truly Asia. Maybe because in Malaysia, there is no one dominant race; In Malaysia, as claimed by the tourist guide, people live in harmony with one another, respecting each other’s traditions and religion. The Chinese Muslims embrace the teachings of the Islam Religion and at the same time incorporate the teachings of their ancestors (so does the Indian-Muslims, by incorporating Hinduism with Islam). There is no strong Christian-Muslim conflict or conflict of any other 2 faiths; In Malaysia each major and important custom is given equal time for celebration. Indian festival, Hari Raya (it was hari raya when we came to Malaysia by the way), Christmas and Chinese New Year are all celebrated; In Malaysia there are no offensive stares (sadly, I guess except from my mom and my sister who stared at almost everyone and anything they wanted to stare at) to those who are different or to those who do not wish to conform… Offhand, in the short time that I was there, I know that if I want a model place or people for “truly asia,” I would want it to be Malaysia.

As a place, they’ve only truly began to develop freely as a nation 30 years ago but the development is evident. In their capital city, Kuala Lumpur, the roads are well made and are wide. All the traffic lights work and the people follow the traffic rules. There are modern clothes and things that are available in their shopping malls but a great number of the people still wear their traditional clothes and use their traditional equipment. Their history is not only rich of stories of those who have colonized them but also of a number of neighboring countries who visited them to trade resources and in their stay managed to influence their original beliefs. Their forests are well-protected and laws are strictly implemented. The farmers in Malaysia are not poor, most of the time they are richer than those who have finished college and are working in the cities.

The most beautiful thing about being in Malaysia is experiencing a deep sense of respect in its people. Each one respects the other whether in terms of religion, or in terms of beliefs and tradition. They seem to have deep respect in their environment and the gifts that have been given to them. They live in harmony because they have learned to respect each other. It’s an inculturated type of respect, where they value the teachings of the old and the promises of the future. It’s a respect that compromises yet doesn’t sell out.

---work related----

At the core of Integrity lies Respect. For no one can genuinely be honest and live a life of integrity without respecting other people that surround him and respecting the environment that was given to him.

In the research I am working on, the major question is - What are the various dimension/s of Spirituality of Integrity? I believe RESPECT is a strong aspect of this spirituality. I like it more in Tagalog though – PAGGALANG.

Ang taong nabubuhay na marangal at may integridad, ay taong marunong gumalang. Alam niya kung kailan at paano galangin di lamang ang sarili, higit ang iba - May paggalang siya sa di paggamit ng hindi kanya o ng pinaghirapan ng iba. May galang siya sa mga batas na nailathala para sa ikabubuti ng kanyang bayan kaya’t sinusunod niya ito. Paggalang din ang pinaiiral niya sa mga tradition ng nakatatanda at ng mga naiiba (mga Lumad o ibang Tribo pa). Ginagalang niya rin ang kalikasan at paligid na alam niyang di niya pag-aari - kalikasang kailangan at pinakikinabangan ng lahat. May paggalang siya sa kanyang salita, higit kapag ito’y nakabalot sa isang panunumpa.

Ang taong bastos kailan may ay di mamumuhay ng marangal, dahil di niya alam paano ang makisama at mamumuhay ng payapa at tama kasama ang iba.

the perfect (OA) tourist pose

petronas towers at night, breathtaking!

my family at the king's palace

manila,philippines

2005-10-29T15:45:00.000+08:00

Work and family circumstances asked me to walk around Manila City…

The other day it was terribly hot…

Perspiration---tired--- ate a lot of my strength…

Yesterday it was raining, the streets didn’t smell so good…

The rain eventually stopped but it was still humid…

It was rush hour when TQ and I decided to go home already. LRT 1 and 2 were filled with so many people…

I don’t think I’ve ever walked in Metro Manila that much, my legs were hurting…

But it couldn’t be compared to the hurt and pain --- to the sadness I felt with the sight of social injustice in the streets of Manila…

Simple reminder to continue the mission I believe God has called me to do (admittedly, it hasn’t been easy)…

Inviting you to heed, as well, whatever God is calling you to do…

Or if you are already, wherever you are, whatever you are doing ---

Let us pray for one another.

Last Thursday, this view made my day. I love watching the Rain!

(sight near CIS in Ateneo de Manila)

conversations

2005-10-17T16:47:00.000+08:00

October 13
In the middle of our discussion on the development of the research we are doing

Fr. Albert: Sana naman masaya ka pa?
Me: Actually Father, medyo hindi. Hindi na po Father.
Fr.Albert: (laughs) Ano? Ah kasi nangangapa ka pa?
Me: Well, yeah Father. But not just that, also because of everything that
I’m learning and re-learning from all my readings. They remind me
of the pervasiveness of corruption, of how evil people can get, especially here in our country.. Pero opo, generally because I’m really crawling my way here in this research.

October 15
Over lunch, after I have complained that I’m going crazy over reading so much about the lay and temporal/secular affairs, etc..

Kuya/Bro.Gil: (teasing) Are you happy with your work?
Me: Grr.. Actually, hindi. Ewan, nabubuang na ako. What did I get myself
into?! It’s like I’m doing my MA thesis already but I skipped going to
class and taking comps!

Today! Lunch at LST canteen

Me: (pointing to pork peccadillo) Ate, Ito na lang po.
Ate Cora: Pagsama ko na lang sila ha (pointing to the plate of rice)
Me: Ay opo. (still looking at the line of food)
Ate Cora: (talking to kitchen staff) Ay di mo pa inilabas yung turon. Ilabas natin.
Me: Sige ate, gusto ko na lang din magturon para naman masaya.

Saying Goodbye,Coming Home and Staying

2005-10-09T19:41:00.000+08:00

It’s been toxic the last couple of weeks. I ended my short stint in a corporate foundation, started a new research job, attended the diamond celebration/concert of the LHS, did final preparations to finally pull off the benefit concert I organized along with my 3 other JVPs assigned in Bendum, Bukidnon, and traveled, researched and did some videography work in a Poblacion in Mt. Province for the video I’m doing on anti-corruption. All that in less than 10 days! It was crazy!

PhilamFoundation – September30 was my last official day (although I did visit last October 3 for transition purposes). It was my shortest stint, but it was sweet. And I’d like to believe fruitful. I will surely miss the camaraderie I shared with the people in my office. I found great friends in Atty Carla, Sir Andy, Tolits, Ms. Jane, Ms. Nora, Atty Ace, Sir Ariel, Ms. Diane, Ms.Sheila, Thryza, Dino, Denise and Sir Max.

Rebirth of the Fight Against Corruption – I admit to being an EheM(Deepening Involvement in Combating Corruption) prodigal daughter (marami akong utang na pagkilos in short). Considering I was part of the first batch who attended the seminar, I owe a lot to this cause. My biggest contribution was in November 2003 through a Voter’s Ed module I gave and designed for the JVPs of Batch24, which I hope they were able disseminate to their areas. My last attempt to help out was designing a tarp I don’t even want to claim I did (hehehe. Errol my photoshop guru will disown me if he sees it. So I will simply pass the blame to Ryan for printing it, he should have been more demanding on the design,hehehe). And so I’m paying my debt, big time! By doing a research which stemmed from the seminars and helping out in the video on anti-corruption.

When Fr. Alejo, SJ told me I could start by October on a research project on “Spirituality of Integrity” he was serious about starting in October. My first day of work – October 1, Saturday. (“,) Well work had to start since he was in Manila and we badly needed to begin our work. Not only because there is a deadline to meet, more because the articulation of the dimensions of a dynamic spirituality of integrity as lived by those who fight corruption in the public and private sectors as well as those who have consistently been good public servants is already badly needed.

For now I can share 3 major reasons for the sense of urgency – 1. These people who have been honest, competent and good in their work should be reminded that there is hope for the country they have been so devotedly working for. There is a need to make sure their spirit to genuinely serve remains (especially those actively participating in the fight for good governance); 2. There is a need for concrete examples of sincere servant leaders to serve as models and inspiration to all the Filipinos especially to the youth who have long been clamoring for honest and people-centered governance; and 3.Anti-corruption initiatives in the country can only fully prosper if we also take into account some of the other limits and challenges of such works. We need to respond to the lack of connection of the political and economic reforms to the sphere of spirituality that looks at the basic integrity and morality of every individual as a member of the political and economic systems.

I know it’s a long shot. To a certain extent, the number of “Good Lucks” I’ve heard from my friends, including the Religious and the government employees, has added to my nervousness. My secret response, as cliché as it may sound, “If not now – When?” Let the sense of being challenged overcome me rather than the sense of fear and hopelessness.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (Oct3-5) – the sight of books for review of related literature was overwhelming. At first, it got me excited to find books that are related to the study until I realized all of those books have to be read. I remember almost feeling dizzy at the sight of 16 books that the Carmelite Research Institute prepared for me when I visited their office. It is both amazing and humbling to have so much information at hand. Some I already knew while most were new information that reminded me that I only know so little about the research paper I am trying to write. Furthermore, it reminded me that additional knowledge meant additional responsibility to respond to whatever this new learning is calling me to do.

VIDEO - One of the feature stories in the video is the battle of a group of farmers in Paracelis, Mt. Province. The main story is that the farmers are appealing their dismissed case on the irrigation facilities that the National Irrigation Authority built to supposedly serve more than 9 hectares of farm land. The project was to provide water system for a group of farmers to allow them to plant rice instead of corn (as rice can increase their earnings). Actually the story is a bit long and legally it has become really complicated. But the point has become very simple for the farmers – 1. The irrigation is not working since it was built with so many defects. Over the past 2 years alone, a number of typhoons caused soil erosions and have severely damaged some of the irrigation canals; 2.Since the irrigation system was built as a loan. The farmers now have a debt of Php5Million which they have no way of paying since the irrigation is not working in the first place; 3. The dismissal of the case without an ocular inspection has made some of them lose their trust in our justice system.

bit guilty with this pic, I shouldn't be smiling really because below me is the irrigation i'm talking about

Actually, the irrigation system is just one of the many problems in that Poblacion. Their educational facilities are questionable and the roads are shouting cases of corruption.

It was raining when I got to Paracelis and I was stranded overnight as the heavy rains caused flood in the spillway that would lead me to the church where my other teammates were already staying. The students who lived in the upper part of the baranggay were also stranded. The bridge (which is only about 200 meters long), according to the sign, started construction in June 2004 and was supposed to have been finished in December 2004.

Staying On for My kids – In June 2005, when we were planning the benefit concert for the school we taught in Bukidnon I was still just bumming around. So it was easy for me to handle most of the preparations. It was a breather for me to be doing something much more important than just playing computer games. But as I started my work with Philam and with the SJ Phil. Province the preparations seemed like a burden.

As the concert date got closer, the four of us (Kuya Gil, Ate Maita, PJ and I) became busier as well. It was crazy! 2 days before the concert, Kuya teased that hopefully after the concert we would all still be friends.

all smiles after the concert! Te Maita, PJ, me and Kuya Gil with singer Noel Cabangon

October 5 – all preparations were so worth it. At the end of the day, the importance of an inculturated education, most especially for our students in Bendum, Bukidnon, drove us to pursue the concert. After much work, and little arguments on the side, we finally pulled it off. Admittedly most of those who came were our friends (Jesuit Volunteers, Jesuits and ESSC people – very few walk ins) but we met our 2 main objectives: 1. to introduce/re-introduce the importance of an inculturated education by showing the video on the school that was made 2 years ago and 2. to raise funds to help out the school. The four of us are still great friends and we raised more than what was spent for the concert, so no one can argue with me when I say – “It was a success!”

On the Side – I still managed to have some fun despite the busy schedule. Last October 1, we made a slave out of Kuya Gil as we celebrated with him and our other Jesuit friends the 40th anniversary of Loyola House Studies. A lot of laughs were shared that night as we even tried to cheer for “MORE funding” from Fr.Provincial after he sang a few songs. The night was also a chance for me to bond, a little, with my JVP batchmates TQ, Nikki, Jen and Marlon.

Speaking of fun/funny things. . . If this sign is telling the truth, when I go back to Paracelis I will never pass by this road. (di kaya ang daan na ito ay bahagi ng 7,107 islands na pag high tide nawawala?)

Back to my books, clippings and photocopies on Corruption, Spirituality and Integrity. I’ve never read so much reference since my college thesis in 2001 - - So I take a break once in a while or else I’ll puke.

raining hope!

2005-09-25T22:39:00.001+08:00

The rain didn’t stop pouring, so did the spirit of volunteerism which the Philam employees displayed.

It was overwhelming. My texts to my sister and my friends read – “Ang lakas ng ulan pero these volunteers just amaze me. You’ll hear no complaints instead jokes are still shared. Sobra nila akong pinapabilib - Kakabilib!”

I left my house at 630AM yesterday for the final GK build I organized for the Philam employees. I smiled because the sun was showing. I was praying hard, Thursday and Friday, for a weather that would allow us to have a successful build in our village in Sitio Ruby, East Fairview. As I wait for the other participants to arrive at the Philam Tower in Makati so we can depart for our village, my officemate suggested I just leave my car in Makati because we will all fit in the company vans. About 5 people backed out, so we had more than enough rides. I decided to heed his advice.

As I emerged from the parking space, my heart broke as I saw tiny raindrops fall. It was raining. As we left Makati, I locked my gaze to the sky hopeful that it’s sunny in Quezon City. It wasn’t, the rains were even harder in Fairview.

We gathered in the Chapel of the village. And I asked (in a jokingly but deep inside very disappointed manner) “What do you think? Are we pushing through? Are we ready to get wet and dirty for our village?” And yes, their answer was “YES.” Along with the GK caretaker and Philam Properties Men, we assessed what we could do with the weather not being on our side. After a short site investigation of the materials that were waiting to be hauled from a certain point to another, we went back to the team and asked them again – “Di naman ganun kalayo ang distance, (mga 30 meters lang-a volunteer added) Game ba tayo?” YES was still the answer.

400 hollow blocks and countless number of sacks of sand and gravel later, we were drenched in the rain. Our shirts and jeans were so dirty that if a washing machine could talk, I’m certain it would complain. (I was wearing white pa for some reason. Diane-one of the vols, took a picture of me and Mench –another vol who wore white - after the build. When I get a copy I’ll post it here) But we were all having fun!

upper-ito si Diane! lower-a boyscout volunteer in a raincoat

As I looked at the volunteers eating their lunch after almost 3hours of working hard in the rain, I smiled. The site was volunteerism at its finest. It was an inspiration, a reminder that there are a lot Filipinos still willing to give it their all for their country - for their Kababayans.

The 2builds I had with Philam employees, I believe, were messages of hope and of love. Their simple acts of kindness remind us of the value of helping our neighbor. These employees strengthen our faith so we can continue to hope for a better and brighter future for the Filipino children.

In this day and age, where egotism is being promoted by media and even by our political leaders, reminders of selfless love are imperative so that people keep their right values and principles intact.

dad turns 50!

2005-09-22T19:11:00.000+08:00

My dad has always claimed that his birthday is on September 20. His birth certificate states it’s on September 21. It’s like this – according to Lola Ima (my dad’s mom) daddy was born on September 20 in, then a very rural town, Macabebe, Pampanga. The person she asked to go to the munisipyo to register my dad’s birth got stuck in a drinking session (inuman) that’s why dad’s birth certificate is one day late.

To satisfy dad’s claim, we often celebrated his bday twice – in September 20 and 21. This year was special, Dad turned 50! It’s the big 5-0. Fortunately, my eldest sister, Dodot was in town for Bar Ops so I advised that we eat out with Dad on the 20th (His village friends were planning to throw a party for him on the 21st). As the only well paid sister, Tetet, I believe, was forced to treat us to dinner.

It was a good and memorable dinner. The restaurant was too pricy (Nu-Vo at Greenbelt) though (thank God I wasn’t paying! I’m so poor) and Dad was the earliest in the resto since he overestimated traffic and I had to pick up Tet first. It was dad’s first time in Greenbelt, too bad it was raining so we weren’t really able to show him around. It was a first in a long while. My dad remembered it right, the last time we were all together, just the 4 of us, was when we were in Hong Kong, after my college graduation and before my JVP year.

fine, fine! yeah, I look like my Dad!

birth certificate issues
I think my family is unlucky with birth certificates.
1. While I was getting my passport, I had to do a lot of stuff because apparently it took about 2 months before my mom was able to secure a birth certificate – late registration! Don’t ask me why because I asked my mom and she couldn’t remember.
2. When Dodot passed the bar we realized she’s been adding a name to her registered name. She’s been using Chelin Joan Marie when her birth certificate only says Chelin Joan.
3. Dodot is now fixing mom’s birth certificate because the space for name is actually BLANK! Her birth certificate only notes FEMALE but there’s no name. Both Mama and Papa (my grandparents) can’t remember how that happened.

Tetet I guess is lucky, there seem to be no problem with hers.

turon

2005-09-19T17:52:00.000+08:00

When a turon does not have langka inside, does it deserve to be called a turon? I wonder.

I just thought about it this afternoon when an officemate offered to buy me one from jolly jeep. I was so excited since I have been craving for it for a month now. It was disappointing. At first I thought, the langka was just probably in the middle part of the turon. But I couldn’t smell it, the langka I mean. Often times when I eat turon, the smell of langka overwhelms the entire snack. So I knew for sure that there was no langka in it. True enough, to the last bite, there was no site of jackfruit.

Iba-ibang tao, iba-ibang hilig - - - Trina, my ex-officemate and goodfriend, would have loved the turon I ate this PM. She doesn’t eat langka kasi but she likes banana. A good jesuit friend just shared to me that he doesn’t like his langka with anything else. He likes it just by itself but when combined with others, he doesn’t like it anymore.

I think turon without jackfruit in it does not deserve to be called Turon. It’s just banana wrapped (in lumpia wrapper I think) with sugar coating. That’s it!

Rain

2005-09-18T11:04:00.000+08:00

I do not appreciate it that it hasn’t been raining since yesterday.

Considering my 3 week planned work-trip for my bosses in our GK village in Bulalacao, Mindoro got cancelled because of the bad weather. The GK caretaker in Mindoro advised us to cancel trip because the roads will be too dangerous. That was it, 3weeks worth of hard work and coordination down the drain. Badtrip! I was actually also looking forward to it because it was a chance to get out of Manila. Haaay..

But then again, I was with the top 4 people of Philam Group of companies. I also wouldn’t want to risk their lives, the life of Philam group, just because I didn’t listen to the advisory of the people who were already at the site we were supposed to go to.

Rain has never been kind to me. A day before my 20th birthday, my supposed to be newly renovated room (my mom had it fixed while I was away for my JVP year) had a leak in the side ceiling and soaked almost all the pictures, and negatives of those pictures, I have taken ever since I was 10 (the age I started photography). During my last Area Visits and Site Investigations for JVP (Feb2005), on the way back to Manila, I made the mistake of transferring important papers and interviews over the 2 months I was at fieldwork in the bag I checked in. I didn’t believe there would be a problem not wrapping the folder in plastic; it was terribly hot in Iloilo the whole day. Apparently, it was raining in Manila the morning of the same day. None of the other bags got wet, just my bag and my files.

The thing is, yesterday, I was reminded about a sad reality. The reminder was that not all people have good shelter for the rain. That some get terribly sick because of the cold, because the water gets in their house made of cardboards or thin-used plywood. How can I complain so much about a trip that got cancelled because safety was the primary concern when I know for a fact that some people are unsafe even in their own homes? How can I get so sad over a fact that I missed a chance of getting out of Manila when some people are like prisoners in their own villages because of flood or landslide?

So I stopped . . . and prayed. And I continue to challenge myself – to use my life in manner that will be meaningful not only for me or for my family, but for others as well.

It’s a tough challenge!

1 down, 2 to go

2005-09-11T19:13:00.000+08:00

PhilamVols at the site! (Sir Jess wearing a vest)

(I realized I didn't have a single picture of me in this build, too bad.)

Some parts of my body are aching. . . I forgot to stretch before the GK build I organized yesterday for Philam Group Employees.

It was an early start for a Saturday but it was good drive to Makati. It was a fast drive. I was running 100 in EDSA. (I wonder when will that ever happen on a usual workday?)

Anyway, it was a great, successful build. It was fun too. 30 vols from the different affiliates of Philam group enthusiastically heeded the challenge of painting, landscaping and hauling in the Philam village in Sitio Ruby, East Fairview.

It was great to see 3 members of the senior mancom (atty.ortega, mr. sotelo and mr. hofilena) stretch their muscles for a whole day. Sir Jess Hofilena in particular, also Philam Foundation’s President, was one of the best workers in the team. Not once did I hear him complain (not even jokingly) and was always on the go when I would ask for the male volunteers to do this or that. He was game for anything. And did I mention he drove one of the vans that took all the volunteers to the site? Well he did and to top it all, he treated everyone to pizza after the build. Talk about a great President at work.

The build yesterday was the first of the 3 builds I’m organizing for Philam Foundation. The next one, next weekend will be in Bulalacao, Oriental Mindoro and the other will be on the 24th at Sitio Ruby again for another set of volunteers. I just wish the next builds will be as successful as the one yesterday – with the weather cooperating and with people really working.

A Jesuit Goodbye

2005-09-09T00:07:00.000+08:00

8 formal years of Ateneo education plus almost 5 years of directly working for the Jesuits has allowed me to accumulate a number of Jesuit friends all over the country. Since I have been based in Manila for over 3 years now, most of them are also based here in the Metro (more specifically based in Katipunan).

One of them (and to a huge to extent a favorite Jesuit friend) is Fr. Mario Francisco, SJ. Our great friendship started when I joined the Jesuit Volunteers Philippines (JVP). He was the National Chaplain during my service year in 2001-2002.

Back then however, I just knew him as that Jesuit who gave recollections not only with passion but with style. (no JVPs, I don’t mean the famous shortsJ ) I’ll never forget the Orsem line – "Handa ka na bang Paligaw sa Kanya?" The use of videos and songs (and not your usual Bukas Palad, Hangad songs ha, R.E.M!) gave a different meaning to reflection. He was also that cool priest who danced in parties during seminars. He had a signature move I so wish I can show you. Lastly, he was also that chaplain who sunbathed and swam a lot.

SEMINARS --- Our friendship deepened when I started working for the JVP central office in 2003. Perhaps because I was the "crazy, gaga" program officer (compared to my partner in crime TQ who is to an extent gaga herself but not as crazy as I am) Fr. Mario and I, along with frustrated Showbiz personality-formation staff Jope and sometimes with JVP resident Campus Minister Diva Chris, partnered in "scheming" for the daily masses and formation staff presentations. Sometimes during plenary sessions, we would totally be "pasaways" and hold crazy conversations that would make us laugh loud enough for the other formation staff to remind us to be quiet.

FOOT SPA --- For someone who is a sosyalito, I couldn’t believe that last Summer, when I decided that my late birthday gift to Fr. Mario will be a date in the foot spa, was his first foot spa ever! It was funny to watch him pay close attention to what the lady was doing to his feet. It was even more funny when the lady realized that it was his first time, she commented "Ah Father, kaya pala ang kapal nung sinuscrub ko." Father suggested to the spa manager to also place magazines which cater to male clients. Makes me think he had plans of coming back to the place. (that afternoon was just so much fun!)

FREE STUFF --- lunch at Sentro, Unlimited use of EAPI conference room/s, food anytime at EAPI, LCD projector, Punta Fuego, lechon and tequila for parties – those were just some of the free stuff we/I got from him. His wide connections made things easier for us in the JVP. One can also easily get free consultations on Spirituality, Family and Lovelife with Fr. Mario. Just don’t expect a cheesy, counselor reply from him though. I once got an "Ingat ka Beauty" reply from him after pouring out my anger and feelings of hurt toward God. Inis noh!? But it made me think God might just be saying the same. Simply teasing me and allowing me to just pour it all out knowing one day soon I’ll understand. Be careful too with what you share to Father. He’s not very good at keeping secrets, trust me!.. (Speaking of free stuff) Yes, I’m still waiting for that long overdue book which was supposed to be his Christmas present to me last year.

----

I was in Ateneo yesterday afternoon for an important meeting for a video documentary when I realized he was leaving the day after (which is today). Yes we threw him a despedida a week before (which lacked so much planning by the way, and I totally place all the blame in my current job) but it didn’t sink in that much then. So I sent him a final goodbye text. And after 4 years of friendship I finally got that cheesy "goodbye-will miss you" reply from him. (Which I don’t intend to delete, so I have something to tease him with when gets back.hehehe)

I realized however that saying goodbye to a Jesuit friend (volunteer, scholastic, novice or priest) is not as sad and as tear-filled as bidding goodbye to other friends - it’s a Jesuit goodbye, bitter sweet I believe. Because in as much as you are sad that he is leaving, you know and you are sure that his leaving is a necessary departure. That he has to go because it’s essential to fulfilling his mission as a servant of God. And you also know and you are also sure that he will come back. And when he comes back, despite some (major) changes, you know that he will still be that same person you can talk to, fool around with, dance with and pray with.

Despite being in the same campus, I didn’t even decide to pay Fr. Mario a last visit to give him a last hug. The text was fine, the party last week enough. He can go; we will just wait for his return.

(written-September 7,2005)

Shifting Gears

2005-09-03T19:35:00.000+08:00

I have so much to do. Today is a Saturday but I’m supposed to be writing an article on the activities of the foundation I work for. The article is for the company’s internal magazine. It is to serve as a report to the employees on where their money is going and how the company is continuously heeding the call for corporate social responsibility.

I’m so uninspired. I can’t write. The pressure that I actually asked for an extension on the deadline, which was supposed to be yesterday, is not even working because my mind just doesn’t respond.

Instead my mind wanders about the recent developments in my “career.” I never thought I’ll have a job as short lived as this one. Less than 2 months! I resigned after 3 weeks and it’s actually the 30-days notice in my contract that makes me last here longer. To other people, it seems it’s too short of a time to make such a huge decision. Did I really think about it already? Well I did. I thought about the decision to resign long and hard. And I prayed about it too.

Because driving is one of my regular activities these days, I’d like to compare the change to that when one shifts gear. (I know, I know. My friends who usually ride with me will comment that I drive an automatic! But I did learn how to drive in manual stainless jeep and I still can drive a manual car.) In as much as one needs to be attentive to the speed and sound of the engine to know if its time to change gear, the shift must be quick as well. When you hear it and you feel it, you have to step on that clutch pedal and move the stick to the appropriate gear. That’s how fast it’s supposed to be. When you know it’s time to change, you better hit it or else your engine might die on you or you’ll create long term damages to your car.

Deciding to resign 3 weeks after working for this foundation was quick. But the thought I put into it and listening to what both my heart and mind was telling me about it, was like being a good driver who knew it was time to change gear. Because if not, my passion to work might just die on me or I’ll create long term damages in my life.

Then, I continue to cruise along this road they call - life.

look closely, you'll see TOLITS! my new baby.

Vulcaseal Commercial

2005-08-27T18:09:00.001+08:00

Hindi na ito madalas maipalabas ngayon eh, pero nakakatuwa yun. Yung patalastas ng vulcaseal na Walang Lusot sa Tapal King. Pansin mo din ba na di lang ito basta patalastas ukol sa pantapal ng butas? Tinitira din kasi nito ang ilan sa di magandang pag-uugali nating mga Pilipino.

Sa isang ad, may isang batang di pinalusot si Tapal King. Nakita na kasi na may nakasulat ng “Bawal Tumawid Dito,” ay pinagpilitan pa rin ng binata na tumawid. Impossible din kasing di nabasa ng binata ang nakasulat dahil ang laki-laki nito at kulay pink pa kaya’t kitang kita. Mahirap nga kayang intindihin ang salitang BAWAL? Lalo na siguro kung ikaw ay nagmamadali.(Di ako gaanong magmamarunong sa usapin ukol sa pagsunod sa lahat ng bawal. Aaminin kong maraming beses din akong di sumusunod eh. Mahabang usapin yun, tsaka na.)

Yung isang patalastas naman, halos inumaga na sa pag-uwi ang asawang lalake sa kanilang tahanan. Inantay pa man din siya ng kanyang asawa. Walang lusot si mister, dahil pinagbuksan siya ng ilaw ni Tapal King upang magising ang misis nito at mahuli siya sa akto.

Maganda, nakakatuwa, nakakatawa --- ito ang mga una kong reaksyon sa vulcaseal commercials. Pero ng lumaon, naisip ko na mahalaga na may patama ang mga ito sa mga pangit at mali na pag-uugali nating mga Pinoy. Dahil di nga naman tama ang di sundin ang mga pinagbabawal; di maganda na umagahin sa pag-uwi ang isang mister, pag-antayin ang misis at magbalak pang lumusot sa pagkakasala. Nararapat nga na di palusutin ang mga ganitong pag-uugali. Maliit man na kasalanan kung titignan sa simula, maaari itong pagmulan ng mas malaki at mas pangmalawakang pagkakasala at pagkakamali.

Layunin ng bawat Pilipino ang magbantay at di palusutin ang mga di kanais-nais na pag-uugali ng kanyang kapwa. Di dapat palusutin ang mga maling mga pangyayari sa ating mga paligid. Dahil ang lahat ng ito, ang bawat pagkilos ng bawat isa ay may koneksyon sa iba. Aminin man natin o hindi, ang ating mga pagpili ay may epekto, maliit man o malaki, sa ating kapwa.

Pero ayokong gamitin ang “TAPAL KING.” Hindi kanais-nais na ang bawat Pilipino ay magsilbing TAPAL KING sa kanilang paaralan, sa kanilang trabaho o sa kanilang tahanan. Sa di natin pagpayag na palusutin ang mga kamalian sa ating paligid, wag sana nating gamitin ang salitang TAPAL o PAGTAPAL.

Ang salitang Tapal kasi ay kasing kahulugan ng Takip - - Pagtapal o PAGTAKIP. At ang pagtatakip ay minsan, kung di man madalas, ay may negatibong ibig sabihin. Gusto kong gamitin ang sira-sirang daan ng EDSA bilang halimbawa sa di magandang naidudulot ng walang-hangganang pagtatapal. (para sa mga bumibisita sa blog ko, oo, matindi talaga ang isyu ko sa EDSA)

Pansinin mo ang daan, tapal dito – tapal doon. Lalo na sa may Guadalupe, yung sa pagitan ng Rockwell at Buendia. Naku po! Maaari na ata itong maikumpara sa ilang mga daan sa mga probi-probinsya na puno ng mga bato-bato. O sige, di naman ganoon ka mabato, pero hindi siya kagandahan. Bakit ganun? Tapal lang kasi ng tapal ang naging tugon para sa mga butas sa daan. Kapag may butas, agad tinatakpan ng aspalto. Kahit papaano, ok na sana na tinapalan, kaso ni hindi man lang nag-angkop ng sandali pang panahon para man lang sana pantayin ang itinapal na aspalto sa daan. Yung bang, basta tinakpan na lang nila. Kaya ang resulta, di pantay-pantay ang daan. Kawawang mga sasakyan, animo’y di National Highway ang dinadaanan. May bagong butas, tatapalan na naman.

Oo, naiintindihan ko na iyon ang pinaka-mabilis na paraan para ayusin ang mga butas. Pero sa tinagal-tagal ng panahon, baka naman maganda ding magsakripisyo ang lahat para maayos ng mabuti ang mga daan. Ano ba naman kung planuhin at ayusin na talaga natin ang mga butas na iyan? Yung sa tamang pamamaraan naman.

May hangganan ang pagtapal, ang pagtakip. Marahil sa simula makakatulong ito, pero mahalagang tignan din natin ang bukas sa mas malawakang perspektibo.

Kahit sa paggamit ng vulcaseal halimbawa, sa butas ng ating mga bubong. Sa simula, makakatulong ang pagtapal. Pero di magtatagal at mawawala din ang bisa nito, tatapalan mo na namang muli? Ng ilang beses pa? Ilang beses mong uulit-ulitin ang pagtapal? Hindi kaya’t mas maganda kung sa pangalawa, o sige na sa pangatlong beses, ay makaisip ka naman ng ibang solusyon sa iyong problema. Kung magtabi ka kaya ng kaunti. Mag-ipon para sa nalalapit na panahon ay mapalitan mo ng mas matibay na bubong ang iyong tahanan. Nang sa ganoon maaari mo ng pag-ukulan ng panahon ang ilan pang bagay na matagal mo ng dapat iniayos o ginawa kaya lang naubos ang iyong panahon sa pagtatapal ng butas na iyong bubong.

Ang mga butas sa ating mga bubong at sa EDSA ay maliliit lamang na mga butas na pilit na tinatapalan at tinatakpan sa mahaba ng panahon. May mas malalaking butas sa ating bansa ang pilit na pinagtatakpan, tinatapalan ng mga kung sinu-sino. Sana nga mas maaninagan natin ang kapangitan ng mga ito upang maimbitahan naman tayong mas kumilos para sa pagbabago.

Like a Scary Movie

2005-08-27T17:40:00.000+08:00

The sight of traffic jam in EDSA has been one of the most frightening scenes in my present life. Ok, frightening is an exaggeration, but traffic jam just really isn't my thing.

It has been 4weeks since I started "working" in Makati and the way to and from has been stressful each day. It's a battle with these darn busses who just can't stay on their freaking yellow/public lane, and with those laidback (although most of the time I think they better be preferred to as "stupid") drivers who wish to let all cars pass them by, not concerned about the fact that we've been stuck in traffic for an hour already. Hello!? These drivers obviously can't get the meaning of "morning rush," some people need to get to work on time you know! And did I mention those bicycles and motorcycles who come flying by out of nowhere? Seriously, they really should be banned at EDSA, takaw aksidente sila, SUPER.Accidents waiting to happen ang mga drama nila.

The scene at 7AM and at 6PM in EDSA is really like a scene from a scary film. You raise similar questions to what a protagonist in a thriller flick would ask. You ask – How on earth am I going to get out of this dreadful situation? What did I do that was so wrong that I am caught in this scene? Why me? Oh Lord, can you please help me, I just want to get home? --- on a personal level, I've asked myself these – Why can't the nagaraya commercial (where you eat a single nagaraya while you drive and you can skip cars) be true? Why is the MRT station so far from my house? Where did all these cars come from? What the hell am I doing working in Makati? Do I desperately need to get a new job based back home in Davao or what?

byaheng EDSA

2005-08-25T20:36:00.001+08:00

That's my usual trip these days -- byahe mula Quezon City hanggang Makati. 4 weeks of traveling to and from Makati, sometimes in Manila in our UN Ave office. I'm actually still alive and my roadrage seemed to mellow down this week. Wow!

The highest point of my trip is being able to pass by Cubao na 50kph ang speed or faster. So far, it has only happened to me once, when I left home at 610am. Normal speed in Cubao during my morning trip, which is usually at 630am, is 20-25kph.Badtrip noh?

Ang daming butas ng kalsada ng EDSA. Kung tutuusin ito ang pinakasikat na daan sa Pilipinas pero nakakalungkot ng kanyang kalagayan. Sa dami ng sasakyang dumadaan sa kanya araw-araw, marahil ang mga butas talaga ay simbolo ng kapaguran ng EDSA. Yung parang isang bagay na kupas at laspag na dahil gamit na gamit ito. Pero sana naman, maayos ito na maayos talaga. . . Naisip ko, maaari din talagang makumpara ang EDSA sa nakakalungkot na pagkalugmok ng bansang kinalalagyan nito. Hay Pilipinas. Sana din maayos ang bayan na maayos talaga.

una

2005-08-23T12:50:00.000+08:00

sabi ko talaga dati, para sa mga nag-iisa ang mga blog. marahil nagbloblog ang isang tao dahil wala siyang makausap.wala siyang magpagsabihan ng mga nais niyang ikwento, kaya isinusulat na lamang niya. madalas kasi dati, mga kaibigan kong nag-ibang bansa ang mayroong blog, kaya sabi ko hindi ako magbloblog. kasi madami naman akong nakakausap, lagi naman akong may mga kaibigan na pwedeng kulitin. hindi ako malayo sa pamilya kaya walang rason para magblog pa ano.

pero ngayon, mukhang pang insomniac din ata ito. naisip ko, sige na nga, masubukan na nga lang magpost ng ilang mga nasusulat ko (as in literally sinusulat dahil ayoko ng mag-on ng computer sa hating-gabi) para antukin. wala na kasi akong Animal Planet sa TV kaya mas mabuting magsulat.

masarap din naman magnilay. effortless pa madalas kapag nagbabyahe. sa loob ng bus, lulan man ng barko, mahigpit man ang kapit sa habal-habal driver, kay dali at kay sarap mag-isip, magsulat at kumuha ng litrato kapag nagbabyahe. kaya din pagninilay ng byahera.

o sya, sa susunod na lang.